Final Semester 1 Post: RAY OF LIGHT

4 June


 

By now, I feel as drained as a sink – mentally tired and physically exhausted. These past 4 months have really taken it out of me: with full-time study, moving states, getting a new job, finding a house to live in, and just the overall adjustment to my new life. I have no regrets, however, as I am loving the course, loving my new life and am really excited for the future. I begin this final post by linking to five blog posts that I believe demonstrate my engagement with the course the best whilst depicting my enjoyment:

Media One Lectorial 1: A Reflection

Merrin (vs.?) Mason

V

VII

Media One Lectorial 8: Crescendoing Clap For Dan

In these blog posts, I write about many aspects of the course including: lectorial learnings; a deconstruction and comparison of two readings; my alternate opinion on Wikipedia collaboration; my in-the-moment epiphany of the soundscape at the Yarra River beside the Arts Centre; and my readings of a short film within a lectorial setting. The following ‘learning graph’ is relative to my understandings and knowledge garnered throughout the duration of Media One throughout the first semester:

Screen Shot 2015-06-04 at 8.14.48 pm

 

Throughout the semester, my learning of media-making grew consistently up until week 11 whereby I attended my final lectorial. As seen in the graph, I obviously have thought more critically and creatively about my work as the semester went along. The purple line indicates a negative connotation however this is not the case: I did not understand the importance of my blog in the middle weeks as I believed it was purely for enjoyment and was not going to be part of my final submission. Oh how I was wrong. All in all, I can say confidently that I have enjoyed this semester and look forward to next’s.

I have learned a lot in Media One this semester and have thoroughly enjoyed both learning about and creating my own media work. Drawing on my prior knowledge of media-making, I have increased my ability to think creatively and critically about the work that I made in media. In discussion with a friend, I have also learned that I need to not apologise for the work that I envision or create; I am the God-like figure for my creations and they have been formulated intentionally and astutely. I have also learned, most of all, that media texts are more pervasive in modern cultures and society then we can comprehend.

I have been asked, for this final blog post, to outline ‘how I learn’. HA. I have sniggered at this question all day. To be very honest with you and myself, I learn by not learning. I am a serial procrastinator and do not pay attention when necessary and definitely do not listen to the best of my ability. I learn by teaching myself. This, I realise, is ridiculous and definitely not going to get me anywhere in life. So, therefore, I am making a conscious effort next semester to purge the distractions from my aura and focus on the imperative in my life: studying media at RMIT (as well as spend copious time with my special someone).

The thing that I have found most challenging about this course is relative to any course I could have studied: self direction. I thrive off of self direction however, due to my procrastinatory excellence, this self direction comes at the last moment; at inopportune times. So definitely the motivation and effort I must garner to travel into the city each day for university study is the most challenging aspect relative to me studying. If I must determine a challenge of the Media One course, I would probably pick being at an age whereby anything intellectually stimulating I create will be considered controversial. I have many interesting ideas for media work and art that I wish to one day create; today is not the day.

I have discovered, about my own creative practice, that regularly I am too ‘postmodern’. This pisses me off but is something that I will have to live with because I am not changing myself for anybody. Postmodernity is something that makes a lot of sense to me and is a discourse that I enjoy rather a lot. So the thing that I have discovered will be something that I delve into regularly in the future. Let’s see where my mind takes us.

Self-portrait

18 March


 

For Media One’s first project, we had to undertake a self-reflection and investigation for our very own self-portraits. I have thought a lot about this and have been tossing up what I would include in my self-portrait. After deliberation, I have chosen to display aspects of myself more personal and more hidden than my surface representation. Yes, there are aspects of myself that I have not considered adding which brings the following question to mind: can a self-portrait really present a ‘whole’ of an essence? I disagree due to subjectivity of one’s own insecurities. Therefore, I may in the future attempt to add to my self-portrait but for now here are aspects of myself that I consider to embody ‘me’.

Journey

My first image is entitled Journey and is explicitly a portrayal of my recent inter-state move to Melbourne to study Media and pursue my dreams in Film.

Insecuit

Confronting and raw, the second image in my self-portrait collection is entitled Insecurities. Taken in a familiar place, Insecurities personifies my anxieties and self-doubts through habitual nail-biting.

Gradual Felicity

Gradual Felicity, my third image of self, is an unintentional intentional shot. Light and dark, Yin and Yang, are polar dualities that I find strength and balance in. Gradual Felicity’s intrusion of white into black symbolises my endeavour to feel happier and let optimism outweigh pessimism one day.

Imminence

My final image for my self-portrait is entitled Imminence and is a public illustration of personal circumstance. A depiction of privacy, apprehension, sensation and climax.

My first of two videos for my self-portrait project is entitled Backwards and has purposefully been uploaded in low resolution. Backwards shows forward-pacing motion, ironically presenting confusion and haste.

Fittingly, Forward is the title of my second self-portrait video. My intention with Forward is to illustrate my unconventional movements from untroubled norms to precarious perspectives.

My first audio piece is entitled 1 and represents the often unattributed part of myself that enjoys solitary, contemplation and silence.

My second audio piece is entitled 2 and is a personal and intimate part of my self-portrait. I will leave this one open for interpretation.

I do not want to live vicariously; I am my own essence. My eyes disregard alien entities and search for the missing part of my what-seems-like-forever distorted entirety. I am on a journey; though I clutch to the wind. Clair de lune est le Soleil.

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