This is the very first rough cut of “1,2,3…”.

The aim of this rough cut is to :

• set up the basic structure of the documentary
• include the things might be needed and put in the documentary
• select music to be used in the work

weaknesses

1. The beginning is too crowded: music, scenery and people all suddenly appear together

2. The mask should be removed when the picture is inserted 

3. Some parts are redundant

-Ron mentioned why he came to Australia and his parents made the decision for him. (This question was originally intended to show that Chinese parents will make decision for their children)

-“Melbourne is a fashionable city, Sydney is over populated”

-The agreement between Ron and his family

-The part Ron talking about his experience of working in the kitchen was too long

4. The position of the view of the city is not properly placed

– more suitable placed  at the end of the film to be the closing scene

5. The continuous background music is exhausting and should be used reasonably

6.The creative idea does not work: using shadows to stimulate the scene of Ron saying goodbye to his mother and going to a different country alone

7. Suddenly switch to the nurse part

8. Inappropriate B-roll

Strengths

-The basic structure was set up

-Lots of beautiful B-roll to be edited

This is the second rough cut of “1,2,3..”

The aim of this rough cut is to:

• adjust the order of the clips
• cut out unnecessary things
• make the structure clearer
• make the transitions more natural

weaknesses

1.Color grating has not been done

2.Music repetition

3.Some parts are redundant:

-scene of chatting with a friend (very unnatural)

-work out in the gym

4.Inappropriate B-roll:

Reed shaking in the wind (01:10-01:12)

5.Some clips are not in the right place and should be moved a little bit to be in the central parts of the frames.

6.The creative idea of the mouse clipping does not work

-the audience cannot understand and feel strange to the clipping

7.The editing is too rough:

-The mask is misplaced (02:26-02:28)

8.The engine sound of the car was accidentally deleted

Strengths

-The structure of the documentary is clearly divided

-The order of the events is clear