Tagged: reflective portfolio

Wk 13 – Cry me a river

Alas, it’s over. The dreaded first semester. As I sit here frantically trying to finish this at 1:30am, boozed up on coffee with Best Coast’s California Nights album soothing me, I realise that I’m filled with some kind of sadness… oh hold up, melancholy’s gone – been pushed aside by tiredness and stress (shout out to cinema presentation that I haven’t started researching.)

There isn’t really one thing that I have specifically extracted from the course thus far, but a compilation of lecture one liners that at the time, for whatever reason, I felt compelled to write down so as to not forget –

  • “Where are the boundaries?”
  • “Don’t be too literal at learning.”
  • “Filmmaking causes pain.”
  • “Don’t wait for the romanticised idea to come… if it does, great.”
  • “We can’t separate ourselves from all of the texts.”
  • “There is no such thing as silence.”
  • “Experience the uncomfortableness.”
  • “Shed your virtual mind.” 
  • “Don’t be a tool.”

And, my personal favourite – “Making without thinking is being an ‘inbetweener’ – you want to be a creator.”

I guess what I’ve found the most challenging about the course is the aspect of having to get over myself and try things that I otherwise wouldn’t. Consequently, this is what has also been one of the highlights. I’ve come a long way from the girl who wouldn’t raise her hand to the one who can’t seem to keep her mouth shut. It’s hard to adapt and accept new ways and you know what, it’s very hard to emerge from high school to suddenly have the cord cut and be expected to become ‘independent.’ (cringes.) Honestly, in the first week I was ready to drop out but, after receiving a scalding from mum on sticking it out, I’m super relieved I did. More than anything, this course has strengthened my passion for media and in turn, my ambition to one day become the next Sofia Coppola.

So comrades, I say adieu. Here’s 5 of my favourite blog posts. Enjoy.

Wk 1 – This Week on Girls 

Wk 3 – Post Self-Portrait 

Wk 6 – Sorry Middle Class White Girl, What Did You Say? 

Wk 7 – Reflections 

Wk 8 – The ADG (aka Logies for Directors Without All The Hype) 

Wk 11 – Social Media’s Influence on the ‘Self’

(Below is a reflective snippet from PB4 that Sasha, Zac and I are working on)

Identity is never set in concrete – it is very much so a social process. Therefore, it seems fitting that for this artwork, the various artists chose to explore the ways that social media diminishes or perhaps provokes ideas of self-identity. If you will, this ‘social-identity’ allows individuals to reflexively construct a personal narrative, thus giving them a certain power over their lives – albeit an online life.

The platform of social media allows one the opportunity to shape their image, enabling complete reconstructions of impressions… Or so is thought. Really, social media can be viewed as an extension of our ‘everyday-lives,’ a version of our existence where aspects are either exaggerated or hidden depending upon how we want others to perceive us. A recent study (Aboujaode, 2011) looking into the Theory of Digital Identity has proven just this. The participants of the study altered their identities on Facebook as to signify that they were ‘more’ than just the individuals in their respective occupations. Stay-at-home parents wanted it to be viewed as ‘successful’, Executives wanted to reveal their ‘cool’ side, Academics wanted to appear intellectual yet ‘laid-back and funny.’ This highlights the importance of self-monitoring and the evident embellishing of  existing personality traits.

Furthermore, the online world contains its own set of rules that users feel must be adhered to. In this sense, social expectations are just as important in the cyber world as they are in our physical space. For example, friends on Facebook who complain and brag constantly are unfriended quickly whilst the same beings in real life would be given more flexibility because one might have to physically see them often. The fact that Facebook also contains no ‘Dislike’ button provokes the notion that the space is meant to garner positivity, delineating that users may feel the need to impress or entertain others for approval.

In presenting ‘the self’ online, it can also be argued that audiences play a large role in the identities presented through social media platforms. Communication sites are all concerned with validation – validation from peers, co-workers and family members. This, of course, reiterates the previously stated idea that social media allows one to communicate who they want to be and not necessarily who they truthfully are.

All in all, control is what really creates a Digital Identity. Online symbols (such as text speak) and an implemented set of ‘rules’ help guide the user to how they behave and reveal themselves but this is just a fragment of an already established role. Rather than creating something false and disconnected, people merely project themselves on screen in a new light.

Wk 6 – Tech Time

The sound recorder – such a small device yet so troubling at times. After clicking all the buttons, twisting the dials and pretending to be an Anchorwoman for a solid five minutes, our group headed out into the ruckus of le RMIT Campus… Which proved to be not that interesting at 9:45 on a Thursday morning.

Our content largely consisted of truck engines and construction works, with the additional conversation. A problem that became the general consensus for the class was attaining clear recordings since the wind and common activity of the campus kept interfering with the signal strengths.

I wouldn’t say that any of the recordings were of particular consequence and nor would I ever use them again but it was interesting to use a new piece of technology. I’m glad that for Project Brief 3 I rented the Sony MC50 instead of this device because I don’t think I’m much of a fan…

Wk 3 – Be uncomfortable, be-e uncomfortable

Speaking of “experiencing the uncomfortable” as a documentarian, Kyla Brittle made me think of this specific Vice video. I’ve seen it countless times and I completely admire the way that Natalia and Alex put themselves directly out of their safety zones for a story.

Whether it’s staged or not is another question but nonetheless, I’m intrigued by the grimy rawness of the piece.

Wk 3 – Post Self-Portrait

As Dan mentioned, these media artefacts are “just a bunch of kilobytes” until we attach them to stories for meaning.

With that being said, it was strange to see my peers delve into my work and try to get a better understanding of who I think I am. Until that point I didn’t realise how personal I was getting with the various representations of myself and to some extent, I felt exposed.

It’s flattering to hear that my work was honest but I had to stop and think to myself, is it? There’s so much I haven’t revealed or that I’ve kept secret and I’m not 100% certain whether these images truly reflect me. Haven’t we all just provided pieces of an identity that we may or may not have forged?

Before I get too philosophical and start sounding like a wanker, I guess that my next aim for the graded piece is to remain as abstract as I’ve been but perhaps through highlighting a different part of my life further…

What my friends and I found the most interesting was the fact that you can click on anyone’s blog and receive a general idea about them – all without ‘knowing’ them or recognising their face in the halls.

Wk 2 – Media is Not a ‘Thing’ Out There

“Media texts do not simply ‘picture’ or ‘reflect’ a reality where meaning resides.”

It’s a frightening thought to think that we can’t separate ourselves from the media texts that we consume day in and out. We’re consciously and subconsciously overwhelmed by sensory perceptions, which is what the ‘excursion’ during the lecture reiterated. Heading out to Swanston street, I wasn’t entirely sure what to focus on first – my relentlessly ‘dinging’ messenger, the snapchat I sent, the signs on the buildings, the music blaring from stores or the Tibetan protest taking place on the steps of the State Library?

It’s worthwhile to think about the fact that we can never take a break from information or media outputs – even as I sleep the hum of my dvd player or the light from my laptop consumes the space and remains at the back of my mind. Just then I checked my phone twice as the quiet tapping of fingers on keyboards is therapeutically breaking the ice in the room.

Perhaps we should all be trying to find some form of ‘silence,’ even if it’s just for a little while each day.

Wk 1 – This week on Girls

“But I think that I may be the voice of my generation… Or at least a voice… Of a generation” – Hannah Horvath, Girls 

Like most people today I am an avid watcher of anything HBO. If it’s aired on this network, then I’ve most likely seen it – sadly, more than once. I feed off it like Humbert Humbert and his pre-teen Lolita’s, so when Monday strolls around and normal members of society are complaining about yet another working week, I run home giddy because it’s ‘Girls’ time.

I first heard about this show from the idle banter that one hears in the back of a high school classroom (paraphrased for reasons of decency) –

Student 1: That scene was so messed up 

Student 2: That’s why I love her 

Student 1: Like, I love her, but where does she come up with this stuff?

The ‘she’ in question is twenty-eight year old Lena Dunham, the creator, director and protagonist of Girls, a show which follows four friends in their early 20s as they try to make sense of life. To say that I was hooked from the opening scene is an understatement. Finally, a show on prime-time television that does not shy away from censored topics and furthermore, actually depicts women with accuracy.

What is to be admired about Dunham is the fact that she brings forth an array of truths on screen. Scenes that explore female sexuality are awkward and real – a lot of debate arising from the excessive nudity that the show presents as well as the amount of masturbation and ‘kinky’ sex involved. Additionally, the featured actors are not your typical Hollywood starlets. Tattoo clad, voluptuous and vulgar women like the character of Jessa are welcomed and according to Dunham, “don’t necessarily have to be liked because you know what, girls are annoying, [they] aren’t perfect, so we shouldn’t make them out to be.”

As a media practitioner, Dunham’s efforts are inspiring and courageous. Baring her soul and her body (literally) in what feels like every episode, she tears down the barriers of conventional beauty and though often revealing the ugliness of society, never fails to take viewers by surprise.

Wk 1 – Hi, my name is…

Introductions are difficult. What does one share with a group of virtual strangers? What is too much information or not enough information? Who do I want to construct myself to be? Hi, my name is Monaliza, I like new-wave French cinema, bad romance novels, musicals, beer, James Franco etc. etc. – all facts spliced together to create some sort of identity.

In this respect, it’s fitting that the first project brief consists of self-portraits, a topic which is omnipresent in this day of selfie culture. This is an opportunity to share who we think we are, and one that I am enthusiastic, though a little agitated, to explore. Humans have a tumult of faces that they present to the world – the respective masks they wear when with their friends, their work colleagues, class peers… So which is the one that I reveal through this project?

Moving beyond the front camera of my i-Phone to represent myself through various forms has my mind bursting with ideas but it’s a challenge to pick the right few and to place the proper pieces together. Marie McGrory of National Geographic establishes in her article, ‘The Un-Selfie: Taking Back the Self Portrait,’ that “[you don’t] need to see someone’s face to learn about their essence,” which is a quite serene statement. All of the qualities, talents and interests that we embody make us the people sitting in this classroom today – we are not merely physical beings that can be understood at a glance.

Wk 1 – Media is Relearning

Channeling the creative spirits of Lena Dunham and the Coppolas, I attended my first media lecture…

And contrary to the Russian dictatorial style that was expected, I was quite relieved to find that it was casual – a room full of likeminded people. Someone mentioned that we should think of university as being connected to our lives and not as a separate body of education, which is quite a beautiful notion to take into account – we are “media practitioners today” and not merely at the end of our degree. Those simple words really struck a chord and prompted me to shed a different light on this course and my ways of tackling it. In the timeless words of Mr. Keating, “Carpe diem boys, seize the day.”

The required reading, ‘Hyper and Deep Attention: The Generational Divide in Cognitive Modes,’ Proved just how much I succumb to the generational shift amongst the youth of today…yes, I inhabit a very short attention span. Though aspects of the reading intrigued me (i.e.: the findings of Generation M’s media usage,) I found myself having to resist the urge to check Instagram and abuse the free wifi, which was the general concord of those surrounding me – “slaves to technology” as a new peer pinned it.

Anyhow, I suppose that by the end of this course, I’d like to have a firmer grasp of technology so that I’m fully able to explore my craft and express my art with an audience. I feel that the technical side of filmmaking is restricting my creative processes, purely because I don’t have much of an understanding of software and whatnot. I learn best by listening and mimicking the actions of others so I’m eager to see what everyone has to offer… Who knows, perhaps the next generation of Jean-Luc Godard’s are amongst us.

Can’t wait to meet you all, M.