Workshop Reflections
Mock Audition exercise
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Throughout the process of the audition activity we did in class, I noticed initial feelings of anxiety and hesitance. It was a strange juxtaposition to me, I was excited and eager to have a go at directing mock auditions using everything I’d learnt in the course, but I also refused to go first, or second, or third; I felt the need to study what everyone else did first, to make sure my idea of direction was “correct”.
In such an earnestly creative field like film and performance, it was confusing, to worry so much about conformity or ‘being like everyone else’. I’ve always been of the opinion that art is the act of nonconformity and outrage and expression, so I didn’t understand why I was so hesitant to go first; it wasn’t like me exploring how to direct an actor was controversial in any way like some art is, it was by all means a safe environment of exploration.
There were of course benefits to allowing others to go first, observing others directorial processes inspired me to add or negate qualities in my own, such as witnessing someone introducing themselves and using utmost manners when speaking with the actors, encouraging me to remember to act socially appropriate and not be too indulgent in my excitement at the risk of forgetting formalities and greetings.
However, I do wonder what would’ve happened, had I simply “jumped in”. I felt far more comfortable observing and then chamelioning my behaviour based on the expectations set by others, rather than simply exploring and seeing what happened. I wouldn’t say I necessarily restricted myself to safety or conformity, just that I was more aware of it (as well as other factors such as time constraints) during my directing. I wonder how I would’ve approached the situation, had I simply gone with my instincts and not witnessed any sort of prior example. It’s possible my instincts would’ve been an utter failure, with difficulty experienced for myself as a directing person and for the actors trying to understand my instructions. Likewise however, it’s also possible something unique and unascertained would have occurred, something potentially inspiring and new.
As I said, I don’t feel watching others complete their directorial process first was necessarily a bad thing, but I do think I should play more and see what happens with more earnest and disregard for social judgement through my studies in this course.
Character Descriptions Exercise #1
While completing this activity, I found an unusual reaction within myself. I consider myself someone who greatly values understanding and empathy towards my characters, and I take pride in trying to understand their motives, personalities and situations.
Yet, when I was given the task to simply write these down in list format, I initially believed it would be an interesting exercise, but I found it somewhat dulling.
It was certainly helpful in specific areas of understanding (I found visually listing flaws, perceptions and values out of characters led me to notice patterns and potential inconsistencies to play with), however I found it more tedious than I expected.
I discovered that perhaps I enjoy a more organic sense of understanding. For example, when I write scripts using my own personal creative process, what usually happens is I have an idea, I plan out basic story events and I write. I don’t necessarily plan the details of characters and their motives, their relationships to one another, or anything like that, I simply write and let the characters guide me. I’ve even been known to rewrite story events purely based off of the creative flow of writing and letting these characters come to life naturally. I often feel like my characters guide my story and I’m simply a vessel of physically writing it. I theorise this might be why arbitrarily listing out each detail and motive of characters in a script I found unenjoyable.
I prefer to let my characters act in the moment, and pray my pen can keep up with them, rather than analysing them before they’ve had a chance to play in my mind. It felt what I later realised was restricting, and dampening on creativity and art; again, I don’t think it was a negative experience by any means and I do appreciate that there is value in analysing your characters before you write or direct, but I also feel that for me personally, my creative process thrives on playfulness and organic exploration in the moment, with clarifying details and analysis added later.
Deconstruction of a scene
https://youtu.be/jMTPp-QGWfo?si=kp_R3t10mUBU8-43
In the essence of time, I decided to focus my analytical efforts on the character of Regina George (Rachel McAdams) in this scene. This particular scene has always fascinated me in its essence of performance; it’s always intrigued me, how Regina George‘s dialogue may be proclaiming one thing (and particularly, specific values /social etiquette for her character) yet Rachel McAdams particular use of tonal intonation and body language, in conjunction with the film’s set design, mise-en-scene and costuming, portray another motive/different social dynamic.
One example of this, is McAdams use of vocal intonation. During one of her first instances of dialogue in the scene, we see a poignant midshot of McAdams face as she very bluntly asks if Cady (Lindsey Lohan) wants to have sex with the character Jason (actor). Her particular vocality while she says it is more hushed, yet equally firm and aggressive. This in turn with the feigned smile on her face gives off an intense notion of passive aggressiveness and irony.
Notably, McAdams performance size is quite small; the minute body language such as her subtle eye widens, tense shoulder placement, and her ingenuine smile, emphasise her sense of authority and power over the characters in the scene, and highlight a key (and narratively important) aspect of Regina’s character; her intense use of passive aggression to assert control.
Another example of McAdams portrayal of subliminal psychosocial power includes when Regina asks Cady to sit down. The diegetic, high pitched and feminine line “sit down!” being preceded by a blunt insult to Jason, already sets up whatever dialogue to follow as one of intensity and purpose, and confusion to Cady who is unversed in social etiquette due to Regina’s sudden switch of character after insulting a man.
However, McAdams noticeable switch to overt passive aggression through her overly light and feminine tone, and feigned politeness asking Cady to sit, ultimately emphasises her authority when she then reasserts “no seriously, sit.”
This particular dialogue showcases key components of Regina’s character and relationship with others, primarily, the feigning of friendship in the resolve for authority and power. Regina clearly expects everyone to listen to her, and when she sees someone who she feels isn’t doing this, her vocal intonation changes to a deeper, more masculine and blunt tonality, with a demanding; “no seriously, sit.”
Finally, the use of camera and mise-en-scene portray Regina’s specific dynamic with the other characters via elements of the production and costume design.
In this shot, we see the groups dynamics clearly; Regina, the one with the most power, sits straight and eloquent in the middle of the table, the set directs the audience’s attention solely on her; even Cady the protagonist, blends into the blue of the cafeteria chairs, as Getchen and Karen’s posture hides inside themselves and betrays their insecurity, making Regina the focus of the scene even more so. Noticeably, she is the only one wearing pink, and a predominant colour is the very powerful and aggressive colour black. She is noticeable, her black costume greatly makes her standout due to the contrast of her light complexion and hair, yet she is feigning femininity and social politeness through her soft pink shirt; the pastel colour is intended to portray her as girly and simply a “teenage girl”, in order to distract from her bullying and authoritative tactics of control.
My way of working
Throughout this semester, I feel my practice in directing has shifted slightly. While I wish I could say I felt my practice has evolutionarily changed and I experienced a once in a lifetime epiphany, I think what’s closer to the truth is that through observing and learning more about how others work, I’ve slowly gained more confidence in my own creative practices.
At the beginning of this course, I noted that I was acutely afraid of directing actors; I had visions I wanted to produce, but I didn’t feel like I possessed the language, and certainly not the confidence, to appropriately lead my actors. I frequently worried my ideas weren’t worthy of being taken seriously by myself or classmates let alone professionals, and this barrier often stopped me from sharing my thoughts and ideas about topics, even characters I was directly working on with actors. While this fear of incompetency still exists, I’m glad to say I feel more confident through every lesson that I’m gaining valuable knowledge, skills, and experience I can use in my future creative endeavours.
I’ve found that activities in class that I feel “throw me in the deep end” are most useful in developing my skillset. For example, being shown an example then told to have a go at directing real professional actors on the spot, was terrifying but ultimately an inspiring and useful experience. I felt that by being forced into it, I didn’t have too much time to think, and hence I could focus more on exploration and play, something I very much value in film and art.
I ultimately believe that while I’m not yet at a confidence level I wish I was, with every new experience and observation of work and performance, I’m steadily increasing my confidence within my own work and abilities to succeed in my filmic endeavours.
[BloodborneKartX]. (2025, 19 March) Why do they make posters like this, i aint reading all that. [Lollapalooza lineup poster quote retweeted]. [Post]. X. https://x.com/bloodbornekartx/status/1902047724922376568?s=46&t=UEhrAnrXn0odJ9jN5fPv1Q
