As screenwriting living legend Shonda Rhimes once said, “…when it comes to collaborating- giving and receiving feedback- sitting quietly is a mistake. “And that is the most deadly mistake you can make. That is exactly how you get fired.” Rhimes continues, “….the most silent person in the writer’s room is usually the first fired person in the writer’s room, because people start to either think that the person is stupid or creepy or honestly doesn’t have anything to say. And once that happens, you’re doomed.”
Thursday’s presentation was certainly not quiet. I was talking, panellists Lucy, Michelle and Stayci were talking back, it really felt like a writers room (as far as I know) rather then just a pitch, which was awesome.
Returning to my seat after my presentation, trying to cough away my shaky voice, and awaiting my feedback, I remember thinking, “alright guys, roast me. Tear my presentation apart.” As if negative criticism is the only constructive kind. To my surprise, the feedback, for the majority, was positive.
This made me really reflect, realising, hearing what was working is probably more helpful then highlighting what is not. If the feedback had done the latter, I would re-address those points but still not know if my work had any redeeming factors; is it even worth developing? Understanding what aspects struck a chord with the panellists was incredibly helpful for me. It affirmed I was on the right track. This is helpful in directing the world and narrative, for example, Lucy mentioned, “I love how small your world is, that is really on your side.” I was considering expanding the world a little, to include relations of characters a couple of towns over, this feedback helped me realise, that wasn’t narratively necessary and wouldn’t advance the ‘claustrophobic feel’ of the world, but rather dilute it.
Another line of feedback from Lucy, and something I turned over in my mind for days, was “think of the visuals of the lumber yard… little bit dangerous.” It was clear she had picked up on the low-key sinister vibe I was trying to communicate about the lumber yard, despite it providing a living to the majority of towns folk, viewed as a saving grace in their eyes.
I was enthused this had been communicated well but I remembered that our presentations were ones of worlds; presenting the world in which your story will take place. It was easier to communicate the vibe of the lumber yard because I literally had an entire PowerPoint slide dedicated to it.
Translating that illusive vibe into my script would be much harder. And I think that’s what Lucy was saying, use the visuals of the lumber yard – describing the visuals to be a little bit dangerous was my way to communicate the dangerous under-current of the lumber yard pulsating just beneath the surface, without saying “there is a dangerous under-current in the lumber yard pulsating just beneath the surface.”
I had a quick go at how this might look.
