Actually, it was just from another country.

But anyway, we started the week by reading scripts written by people from another country. To sum up the script that I got, it’s a story about a busker who changes his performance into something other to compete with another street performer, and they get into a physical fight when one gains more money than the other.

It was an interesting read considering it was a 6 page script with absolutely no dialogue. And with that being said, it only seemed proper that we had to find the good and to-be-improved parts of the script.

I thought that the overall writing of the story was really good. It was clear and precise, and really painted the image of the story even without the dialogue. I also liked how the montage sequence was laid out where the author has used a numbering system. This was definitely different from the layout of Up (2009) montage sequence from earlier on in the semester which is separated by slug lines/locations. But I suppose that’s the difference between the two. The montage of the busker’s performance is set in the streets and it remains there so I understand why the numbering system is a better layout for the montage sequence.

And now, although I thought that this was a solid piece for a zero dialogue script, there were a couple of things that could have been improved. For instance, the following excerpt:

“… and with the other waving his fist side to side, right in Chris’s 
face, as if to say ‘wanker’.” 
(Title & Author unknown, p. 1, accessed 15 April 2018) 

The last part of this line, ‘as if to say ‘wanker’’, is quite unnecessary. From all the things I’ve been learning for the past few weeks, it would be to not write something that the audience won’t be able to see or hear. Like in prose, for example, we can write things such as, ‘he feels’ or ‘she thought’. But these are things that we can’t write in a script because how do we translate that on screen?

I think it would’ve been better to remove that last part completely and just end it at, ‘right in Chris’s face’, and instead, maybe have a reaction from Chris such as, ‘Chris tilts his head back to avoid his fist’, or something similar. At least this way we could guess that the man waving his fist in Chris’ face is a form of insult as Chris is reacting to it.