The Script

.. In progress.

Starting the script with a draft is a successful practice that I have taken, seeing that it is my first time constructing a formal screenwriting skills. In the script I wrote, I have realised that it contains a dense amount of dialogue and expressive body language. Much of this action is portrayed with facial expression instead of highly active performances. I think that this form is suitable in going for a Indie style of realistic, non-exaggerated performances that we usually might have seen in mainstream films. Newman had stated that conventions of setting and human being representation on this kind of films are “typically naturalistic” (2011, 87). Likewise, we do not have exaggerated courageous or intellectual characters but rather ordinary ones representing lives of adolescents and young adults who may have suffered through past drug uses or crimes leading them into juvenile detention centre. These are realistic experiences that we human in real life is naturally a part of.

As we discussed and did some retouches on the script together, we decided to make some changes on some parts of the script. Because Dea is focusing on creating the characters, both she and I had a read-through to see if any psychological side of the characters and their behaviours are appropriate and make sense. The main adjustment that we’ve made is toward the ending of the short film.

Option 1

Option 1

Option 2

Option 2

Option 3

Option 3

Option 3 would be our final choice for the script narrative. James in our group thought that the ending would need to be prominent, not necessarily a final closed up resolution, but something the audience will think twice about. Plus, we wanted our film to be experimental with a rather “unfinished” ending to symbolise the true reality that our lives goes on ordinarily despite the dramas. Hence, James suggested that what if Julie slapped Ryan instead, as he lost control of his anger. I thought that it is a great unusual and unique idea, considering that Ryan is a being who has been treated without strictness or discipline by his calm “inferior” mother. After Julie’s slap, it would be a shocking and unexpected treatment for him yet also for the audience. Therefore we decided to go along with this sort of ending. I am now excited for the shooting and how the performance will come to be as well as any adjustments that might be made during the shooting.

Finally in week 9, we have officially finalised our script. There had been a couple cross outs and add ons but it seems like we are all satisfied with our screen writing end result. What we need to rely on is bring this piece out during the shooting days in which we are looking forward to in week 10.

The final script…

Juvies Script, click here 

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What Juvies sounds like

The sound design of our film would be the experimental aspects for me into trying out different methods whilst producing the piece. What I’m aiming to play out for the audience is for them to hear a correlation of sounds to the character’s mental subjectivity. Whether it is the sound of running water to portray calmness and security, or upbeat intense bass sounds to portray discomfort or emotional instability. To put on unique kind of sounds orchestrated as a unity would be something I am excited to experiment on. Walter Murch mentioned..

Similarly, I would put the dialogue or voice overs as the more dominating sound for the film. But rather for music, I thought of putting it as a subtle supporter of the character’s situations, which takes its place more towards the back or the sides of the orchestra. Instead, environmental sounds are equally important to portray the character’s mental subjectivity and emotions in which then would be placed among the sides of the orchestra.

Screen Shot 2016-04-15 at 11.22.04 pm

 

These sort of sounds curated are of environmental sounds that naturalistic and may take part in our film. We need these sounds to enhance the sense of realism and a more pronounced way of how individuals hear their surroundings. Characters are therefore correlated with environmental sounds as if that is what they are listening to or hearing what they take in from their environment. Again, that will contribute into conveying their mental subjectivity.

  • Water running; taps, fountains, waves
  • Wind
  • Trams
  • People chattering
  • Sounds of doors
  • Breathing
  • Footsteps

Music and rhythmic melodies that I have found from free music archive websites are crucial into creating that aura of dramatic tones. These background musics allow us to generate a more impactful effects towards the audience. It serves as a bridge in connecting the character’s emotions and engagement with the audience.

Upbeat and jumpy tones (White Limit):

  • Excitement
  • Ryan meeting/engaging with Julie
  • Playful
  • Interests of Ryan’s emotions

Jumpy tone (White Limit) with mellow tensity:

  • Discomfort
  • Emotional instability
  • Journey/ experiences
  • Flashbacks

Rock electric guitar (Let’s Make Hate):

  • Adventurous side- Characters sharing stories
  • Hardship of past experiences
  • Crimes

Celeste clinking bowls (taken from NGV):

  • Water creates calmness
  • Randomness, the unpredictable pattern- symbolises character’s psychological and mental disorders

“Let’s Make Hate” music symbolises adventurous side of the two characters into sharing their stories and form their relationship. Also, the electric guitar rock kind of sound relates to the hardship of experienced they had all the crimes they did and their time in juvenile detention centre to modify themselves. The chill, slower but mellow tone of this music symbolises their never ending journey that they keep going on and that life goes on. Furthermore, during their slow pace along walking on their journey it shows that they don’t have to rush, and that in learning about their identity they need to take their time. The mental disorders and “messiness” is symbolised by the clicking bowls on the water sounds that are random and not in order, which also portrays that we cannot always predict the human mind.

Voice overs and dialogue corresponding to the background music in our film is inspired by one scene from Gia Coppola’s Palo Alto (2013).

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePRb_reuB-M

‘Psych’ and Indie kind of characters

As Newman had mentioned, Indie films are more offbeat or personal or character-driven than Hollywood vibes (2011). I wanted to create this aura of a more character-focused narrative and their realistic experiences. Additionally, Indie films generally lacks generic framework, which again supports our vision and goal to generate an unexplained or ambiguous, realistic ending rather than the typical Hollywood happy-ending constructed narratives. So these main questions to think about now is crucial into our story development about drug uses and psychology of human being within contemporary juvenile detention centre.

What triggers Ryan’s anger toward the ending of the short film?

How did Julie calm him down?

Why is it that only Julie the one who can make Ryan calm and better in progress?

Before we answer these main questions, I would do a research about the psychology of drugs and alcohol relations with anger, aggression and violence. This research is for the purpose of our character, Ryan who still suffers anger management and emotional distress, while Dea takes upon a research about anxiety for our character, Julie. Ryan as we understood is a complex, expressive character who has some anger management problems. We thought it would be a great idea to reason his personalities and actions based on his pasts and drug/alcohol use.

Aggression (n): Any form of behaviour directed toward the goal of harming or injuring another living being who is motivated to avoid such treatment (Barron & Richardson, 1994).

Violence (n): Aggression involving physical harm or injury occurring between two or more human beings in the human literature (Pihl & Hoaken, 1997).

In our narrative, we have concluded that he had abused his mum out of need for his own selfish reasons. He wanted someone else’s money, for his own use of drugs and when he cannot receive what he needed, he gets angry. He hit his mum, physically and mentally harming her in which she is motivated to avoid his treatment. Therefore, we can say that Ryan is aggressive. But how his violent actions relate to his use of drug and alcohol is explored in a deeper psychological research that will aid us in constructing the short film’s narrative.

Does Ryan suffer an addiction to drugs? We chose a path where he was addicted and therefore in need of therapy within the detention centre. He also did consume a great amount of alcohol but coming from a low-income family, he mostly got the source from his old group of friends. According to Murdoch, Pihl, and Ross, individuals who are under the influence of alcohol will act aggressively (1990). These experts have also conducted a study in which offenders who had convicted a violent crime had been consuming alcohol shortly before. I was also thinking that if Ryan has a drug addiction which can lead to his anger management, what kind of drug can lead to such causes? Apparently, benzodiazepines has some links to increased anger and aggression (Dietch & Jennings, 1988). Like alcohol, the drug also affects the anxiety system. It also suggests an increased amount of violence much more than alcohol. These researches and findings allows me to provide a solid grounding into constructing the actions and behaviours as well as the identity of our characters portrayed in our film.

Taking these findings and inspirations into account, we are trying to explain the character’s motivation into his anger towards the end of the short film and embody a tint of Indie film characteristics. According to Newman, as Indie cinema is a genre constructed within its cultural discourse and concerns fairly ordinary people in recognisable places and situations (2011). He further explained that characters within Indie cinema experience realistic human everyday life, in which their world follows the same rules as we in real life experience.

Therefore to answer our main questions, Ryan lets go of his emotion after opening up to Julie due to his guilts regarding his abuse towards his mother. He remembered his mother getting hurt and he knows he caused it despite not having able to control his drug/alcohol-triggered violence. He is angry of himself and shameful, but as he is able to find someone who he can really express his true experiences and crimes, Julie acts as a catalyst and allows him to put himself back to his pasts and incidents. By this he is reminded of his past and thus, lost control of himself once again. This is what has triggered him to his disturbances and emotional breakdown towards the end of the narrative.

viewers encouraged to see these independent films as more socially engaged and formally experimental than Hollywood.

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We’re OTW

Ideas-in-progress

My group and I first started developing ideas through a brainstorm, including various different sources and inspirations which connect to the prompt, “Where there is crime there’s violence, where there’s youth there’s love”. Everyone seems to have great interesting points, simple and succinct.

Brainstorm Map

Brainstorm Map

As we divided individual roles, I personally learned and experience something new as a whole. I have never written an ‘official’ script before and it really overwhelmed me as I started. Like most writers, I was totally blank. Dea was in charge of the character biography and development and therefore she had taken a part in developing our script. Because of our idea of character driven narrative, we tried to focus on our two main characters. Hence, the dense dialogue, mental subjectivity through flashbacks and time lapses and a heavy set of actions as well. What was challenging for me is to keep tying the script back to the main idea of youth and love and crime and violence. To add a little harmony to our experimental film without too much of the abstract touch, I though I could have a balance of both dialogue and action regulating in turns with each other.

Script-in-Progress

1 2 3 4 5 6

Character-in-progress

There are a number of inspirations for our characters. Most on real life youth stories with crime issues, but we have also taken parts of character portrayals from different outstanding films. These films often explore the psychological side of youth behaviour and mental subjectivities, which we are aiming to really focus on. This way we are able to tie the character back to our prompt and play around with our experimental indie style. Dea and I thought it would be a good idea to have some opposite personality clashing together. For example Ryan, the main character is an expressive guy in his early 20s with the problem of anger management and violent behaviour caused by various reasons including drug addiction. In contrast, Julie is a calm introvert needing sense of true belonging despite her closed up and almost-anti-social behaviour. What I think we need to do though, to dig deeper into the psychological theory side of these character bio is to do more research mainly on anxiety and drug issues.

  • Story of Ahmed’s experience with drugs, mother and detention centre

Click here for Ahmed

  • Basketball Diaries- Di Caprio’s character

  • Youth development and characters on Palo Alto

  • Background info- Juvenile justice system in Australia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCJYlFHvlYU

 

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What’s Sound Design?

  • Aid to filmmaker
  • Aid to audience
  • Manipulation of the audience
  • Creation of a subjective environment
  • Creation of a sympathetic environment

Here are some quotes from the Walter Murch playbook:

It (sound) should strive to create a purposeful and fruitful tension between what is on the screen and what is kindled in the mind of the audience. The danger of present- day cinema is that it can suffocate its subjects by its very ability to represent them: it doesn’t possess the built-in escape valves of ambiguity that painting, music, literature, radio drama and black-and-white silent film automatically have simply by virtue of their sensory incompleteness — an incompleteness that engages the imagination of the viewer as compensation for what is only evoked by the artist.” -Walter Murch

By comparison, film seems to be “all there” (it isn’t, but it seems to be), and thus the responsibility of filmmakers is to find ways within that completeness to refrain from achieving it. To that end, the metaphoric use of sound is one of the most fruitful, flexible and inexpensive means: by choosing carefully what to eliminate, and then adding back sounds that seem at first hearing to be somewhat at odds with the accompanying image, the filmmaker can open up a perceptual vacuum into which the mind of the audience must inevitably rush.” -Walter Murch

“Short” Project

Project Brief 2- FTE

This fun, hardcore project on short film for the semester has been putting my group and I on the edge of our seats. Upon brainstorming ideas based on the given prompt, “Where there’s crime there’s violence, where there’s youth there’s love”, we came across a few similarities. James, Dea and I needed to come up with an idea that we will pitch to the studio class for and well, it worked… well…

Turns out our idea was to complicated and bizarre, with vintage setting and complex, too detailed characters that we surely need a way bigger budget to start our film. But that’s okay I guess. A part of this process is learning and keep trying. Therefore, James Thompson gave us another try to rethink about our film. So we did. We crossed out pretty much everything we had before and start from scratch. Dea came up with a brilliant idea to use time-lapse to give a little experimental touch to our short. James was aiming for a simpler, focusing on only two characters on the narrative and a more David Fincher kind of style. And as for me, I have walked through the Old Melbourne Gaol field, now the alumni court and just thought we could do something with it. So  I came up with the idea of two characters who formed a friendship in a juvenile detention centre, which fits quite well to the prompt.

Here below is our pitch power point in which we had improved and was approved by James. Considering we have a much simpler idea and a more manageable short film. There we go, that’s a green light!

PPT

Juvies Pitch