Where the past lives on
Being able to share such close memories to my heart with an audience at the Weird Feelings exhibition, “Home Sweet Home”, really filled me with unease, yet, excitement. What fascinated me most was feeling nostalgic even before the event began. I enjoyed this studio so much that I already knew I’d miss it, creating a sense of nostalgia even before the exhibition took place. I felt so excited seeing people take the time to sit down and watch my piece—my film, my memories. Just imagining them feeling a sense of nostalgia filled me with excitement. I felt like I was being vulnerable with the audience, sharing these intimate moments, while inviting them to connect with the emotions behind each frame, bridging the gap between my story and their own experiences.
It’s as if we believe authenticity can only be located in the past – a depressing vision that runs counter to our technological modernity, the internet and all it has brought, and the way we live and think now. — (Bridle 2012)
This quote suggests a tension between our longing for the past and the unstoppable, evolving presence of modern technology. While I wanted my work to evoke a sense of nostalgia, there is a subtle feeling of uncanniness within the work through the idea of both technology preserving our memories that are meant to be in held in our brains. Although technology preserves these memories, it continually advances, evolving in ways that can make us, as humans, feel distanced from the authenticity we often associate with our past. Memories are deeply rooted in our brains, formed through experiences. They, of course, fade over time – however, technology has given us the tools to preserve these memories in ways that challenge our understanding of authenticity. I feel that this creates a sort of uncanniness—a ‘hyperreal’ version of our past. Through my work, I wonder whether or not nostalgia loses its meaning through technology, or does it gain new significance?
From the beginning of the studio, I knew I wanted to create something that would evoke positive yet strange emotions. Nostalgia and the romanticising of the past were themes I enjoyed most in the class. However, as the semester went on, I found myself increasingly drawn to topics I didn’t expect to enjoy. Concepts like the uncanny, technology, and its history intrigued me—even though the emotions they stirred weren’t always pleasant. I felt that I wanted to explore these feelings more. During the classes that explored these concepts, it made me question a lot about the blurred line between technology and humanity. The discussions revealed just how intertwined our lives have become with technology.
Originally, I wanted to create a narrative film; however, through class discussions and inspiration from my peers, I wanted to explore further than just a story – rather allow audiences to come up with their own questions through my work and how it was presented. My work includes the evolution of technology, nostalgia, longing, the uncanny, and romanticisation of the past. During Experiment 2, Take It Apart, I really got a closer look at the evolution of technology and wondered why we feel such a pull toward the past and why it feels so comforting to revisit it. This experiment also highlighted the emotional significance we attach to these objects. The experiment allowed me to look into how technology — even though it is outdated — holds a certain nostalgic warmth, connecting us to memories that feel both close and distant.
“…digital technology’s being used simultaneously as a tool for advancing the digital possibilities of man and a vehicle for revisiting and reimagining the past. This relationship between tech-nostalgia and digital preservation is fascinating.” — (Campopiano 2014)
Although the idea initially unsettled me, the thought of preserving my memories through a lens, through technology, has surprisingly brought me a sense of relief. Capturing life with a device felt like it might distance me from the present moment, somehow making these experiences less ‘authentic’, however, I felt comfort in knowing that these memories would exist somewhere. A camera helps me to hold onto fragments of my life, allowing me to revisit these moments that I might otherwise forget.
Through Experiment 5, Glitch, it really inspired me and the idea of errors and malfunctions—almost like in our brains and our memories. I wanted to explore how these ‘glitches’ could visually represent the fragility of memory—the way certain moments blur and fade as they drift further into the past. The process of decay—of memories ‘malfunctioning’—also allowed me to express the uncanny sensation of revisiting the past, where what we remember may be as distorted as the digital errors on a screen.
“In the 1970s the term’s use started to signal something in contrast with electronic devices and, finally, only in the 1990s it began to be used with the connotation of ‘old-fashioned’ and even ‘vintage’…In short, we can see how the definitions of analog and digital have evolved together and changed across time in dialectic and reciprocal relationship.” — (Balbi and Maggauda 2018)
These two terms, ‘analog’ and ‘digital’ have evolved, with nostalgic connotations. “Analog” has come to represent a kind of vintage authenticity—a reminder of simpler forms that contrast with the fast-paced digital world. I was drawn to this nostalgic layer within my work; reflecting our collective longing to hold onto something tangible, even as we continue to live in an evolving landscape. By presenting my work on an older, more outdated device (CRT-TV), I wanted to explore the tensions between the past and the present through technology.
If I were to continue working on this, I’d like to further explore the concepts of the uncanny and the evolution of technology. Although I felt as if my piece really fit within the exhibition and its themes, there is a side to my piece that remains unexplored—a hidden layer that could push the boundaries of familiar versus strange even further. However, another aspect that I would have loved to add to my piece would be to create different DVD’s for different memories, allowing audiences to explore certain parts and what emotion might have come with each memory. This might resonate further with individuals, rather than throwing random memories into one DVD. In reflecting on this project, I feel both fulfilled and inspired to keep pushing ideas like this forward.
Ultimately, Where the past lives on became an outlet where I could get vulnerable with my audience. Through this piece, I opened a window into my own past, allowing viewers to live through moments that have shaped me and my identity. It was a space to dissect memories and how it clings to certain details while letting others fade, and how, over time, even cherished moments can blur or distort. There’s a quiet comfort in knowing that technology allows us to preserve memories, capturing moments we can revisit long after they might have faded from our minds, and that’s weird – but okay!
References
Bridle J (2012) The new aesthetic, Incisive Media Ltd., accessed 27 October 2024. https://www.proquest.com/scholarly-journals/new-aesthetic/docview/1320451051/se-2.
Campopiano J (2014) Memory, Temporality, & Manifestations of Our Tech-nostalgia, De Gruyter, accessed 27 October 2024. doi:10.1515/pdtc-2014-0004
Balbi G and Maggauda P (2018) A History of Digital Media: Why Study the History of Digital Media and How?, Routledge, accessed 28 October 2024. doi: 10.4324/9781315209630-2