stay small by Anaya Sandon-Gould.

poster:

film:

reflection:

My intention for the final film is to prompt the audience to consider their own childhood and asks the question, what would you say if you had the chance to speak with your younger self? In relation to the concern of the studio, the film communicates the idea of growing up, something everyone experiences, and the position of mourning over your younger self. When you grow up you make memories, but as you grow up they are suspended in a different time, when you were innocent, creative and free. Furthermore, I used my personal voice and experience to create an essay film which played with the flexible form of an essay film through images, animation, recreation footage, fictional elements, voiceover & home-videos.

I would say that part of me felt as though my intention for the impact of the film was not fulfilled and could not be fulfilled in the context of the studio exhibition. This is because each film was back-to-back, with no room to consider the message or emotions that come along with each film. My intention was for the audience to consider their own childhood and what they would like to say to their younger self. As discussed in Alexander Kluge’s interview with Jonathan Thomas, Thomas explains that the techniques of the narrative should be fragmented and non-linear in order to actively engage the audience. I do think that my techniques would have been actively engaging for the audience and it is possible that they reflected during the screening but most likely with not enough time, as the film is very fast paced and short in length. If it were to be screened for example as a one off, it would have allowed for time after the viewing for the audience to really consider the impact and the thoughts the film may have brought up for them. In the instance of the exhibition, those thoughts would most likely be taken away by jumping into the next film.

I think the most successful aspect of my film is how it aligns with the form and structure of an essay film. As discussed in “The Essay Film: Problems, Definitions, Textual Commitments,” by Laura Rascaroli, she describes the structure and form of the film as fragmented and exploratory which evokes personal reflection. This was achieved in my film with the fragmented montage and mixed media.

The most problematic aspect was most likely my process, which was thoroughly disorganised. I think if I planned my montage sequence a bit more, it would have been more calculated and meant that I was more satisfied with the final project. My frustration lies with the fact that I had a clear vision which I do not feel like I completely fulfilled, which is often due to expectation vs reality, but it is possible I could have helped this by planning better.

If I were to continue working on ‘stay small’ I would work more on my animation skills and attempt to create higher quality animated elements for the piece. This is because I really love the animation aspects that I input in the film, but because my experience was limited, I was restricted by basic level abilities. If I was able to master animation, I could have made it more multi-dimensional and intentional. There were lots of things like this which I didn’t know how to do, for example collage and mixed media techniques that I didn’t give myself the time to learn. I did get some good tips from YouTube Videos for example ‘The Adobe Animate CC Crash Course (Beginner Friendly!)’ by Alex Grigg which helped me grasp the Adobe Animate software. Once I learned the basic rules of the software, I was able to do basic drawing animation that I intended, but if I had spent more time watching videos and had more time to animate I could have come up with something more complex. So, if I were to change the film, I would give myself that time.

I also would extend the montage aspect, with more intercuts showing me sat or possibly walking around my room talking on the phone. This would have created the concept of a phone call better and made it more dynamic, rather than just the fiction, montage, fiction and end.

I have learned the possibilities with films, and how having no restrictions or boundaries to creativity can be important and fun. For example, as discussed in A New Type of Documentary Film (1940) By Hans Richer where he states that the boundaries of nonfictional documentary films pose a barrier to intellectual and deep meaning in films. This is because Essay Films promote flexibility of techniques allowing the director of the work to use an unlimited range of technical elements. I think the fact that the form of the film did not have restrictive conventions meant I got to play around a lot more.

I originally planned on doing the filming and camerawork all myself. I don’t know why I thought I could do this but a few days before filming I realised, when writing up the shot list, that it would be impossible for me to both act and be the cameraperson. This is where my friend Dusky comes into play. I am very grateful to have had her as my cameraperson and without her, the shots would probably have been bad, out of focus, and it would have taken me double the time to complete. A takeaway from this made me realise working collaboratively is important and not to take for granted the people around you who are willing to help. You don’t always have to do something on your own, and it will turn out better if you get some help along the way.

references

Rascaroli L (2009) The Essay Film: Problems, Definitions, Textual Commitments. in Alter NM and Corrigan T (ed), Essays on the Essay Film (2017), New York, Columbia University Press, 183-196.

Richter H (1940) The Film Essay: A New Kind of Documentary Film. in Alter NM and Corrigan T (ed), Essays on the Essay Film (2017), New York, Columbia University Press, 89- 92.

Thomas J (2017) ‘Alexander Kluge interviewed by Jonathan Thomas’, The Third Rail, 10,