A survivor’s guide to Survivor

by Patrick Mckee

Here’s a confession: I am a Survivor nerd. I have seen every episode of the U.S. reality show at least twice, and some seasons I have seen up to 6 times in my process of converting non believers. I have seen spectacular players fall, terrible players succeed and beautiful strategic moves be foiled due to unpredictable human behaviour. To be successful in this game you require a certain amount of fluidity within social groups, some knowledge of basic human behaviour, keen observational skills and a high level of self awareness. The dynamics in Survivor can be tricky, there are a lot of variables that need to be taken into consideration if you want that prize money and it will not be easy. If you’re considering playing this game then keep reading, because I am going to break down how to take home that money and the title of Sole Survivor.

The key trait everyone overlooks in this game is mediocrity. Going into the game of Survivor, half the contestants feel that they need to be huge game players and make “big moves” for their “survivor resume,” while the other half opt to play “under the radar” and blend into the scenery. These are both good strategies, but both will ultimately lose the game. You have to be fluid, self aware, observant and, at times, subordinate. Your tribe mates are the key to your game. You will no doubt have that one tribe mate who is arrogant, hot headed and assumes the leadership position (while constantly stating that they “don’t want to be the leader”) and there is no point in trying to go against them. You can’t sit around quietly though, unless you want to be labeled a goat and give the perception that you are riding coattails. You have to speak up and give your opinion, but in a non committal way so that if everyone else has a different point of view, you can easily change your mind without too much attention being placed on you. There has to be balance in every single interaction you have out on that island, which means you have to have your head in the game from the minute you wake up in the morning to when you go to sleep.

1. The First Five Days
The first few days are crucial. You have to make sure that your tribe works together efficiently around camp as soon as you arrive on your beach. If you aren’t the most handy around camp that’s fine – just make sure you pull your weight. Always make sure you are doing more than the laziest people, but less than the leaders. This places you into the key demographic: mediocrity. The first thing you should all do as a tribe is the dreaded “stand in a circle and get to know each other,” but don’t do it all day. Have a quick and easy introduction then Get. To. Work. A trap most tribes fall into is trying to appear easy going and chilled out and then BAM. Its pitch black, you haven’t started a fire to boil water and you haven’t constructed your shelter. You are now screwed and behind in your game.

There is balance though; if you are too pushy to get these things done, you will seem bossy. If you’re too relaxed, you’re lazy. Use lines like “cool, so what does everyone think we should do first? Anyone have experience building shelters or making fire?” If you are one of these people with experience, make sure you help as much as you can. If you have no idea what you are doing, make yourself the leaders bitch. Do whatever is asked of you, to your best ability and make sure everyone knows that you are trying, that way even if you fail, they have no ground to stand on when you fuck it up. Talk to everyone in these first few days, even if you have a bad vibe or don’t seem to get along with them. You need to form a cohesive group for the challenges.

2. The Challenge
The immunity challenges are brutal, physically and mentally. Endurance, puzzles, memory combined with strength and power means there is rarely one contestant who can manage it on their own. The first challenge is always going to be intense. Everyone will be super excited to get started and attempt to give 110%. You need to be stating your strengths and weaknesses straight off the bat to be placed in the best position for the challenge, meaning that if you suck at swimming, please do not offer to do the water leg of the marathon. If you lose and you were in the losing position of the challenge, you will have heat come down on you in the tribal.

If you do lose the challenge, once you arrive back at camp you have to make sure you speak to the strongest person in your tribe. Nine times out of ten this person will not be going home in the first tribal council because strength is necessary in the first few days. Find them, and ask them how they want to vote and that you want to vote with them. Always ask who they want to vote for before putting any name out there just in case it backfires on you. If you are asked to state a name first, say the person’s name who has been on the outskirts of the tribe or who screwed up in the challenge. If that person is you, well then you have to reverse everything I just said. Find the other outcasts and aim for the mediocre tribe member. Not the strongest, not the leader, but someone in the middle that you can safely get rid of without pissing too many people off. This is a slim chance, but if you find yourself as the worst and the outcast, it’s your only shot.  Voting your tribe mates off at tribal council means planning and utilising these other players to your advantage, which means they can work to your disadvantage.

3. Tribal Council Etiquette
At tribal council, say as little as possible, unless you feel you are the weakest and are going to go home. What you say at tribal council can make or break you, especially if you play into Jeff’s probing questions (pun intended). If there are just a few people who really haven’t made up their mind and you say something stupid, you are out of there. Stay as neutral and vague as possible. This will show Jeff that you are not playing his game, and show your tribe that you can be trusted not to be tricked into saying anything too revealing. This will come up time and time again with each tribal you face, but you will no doubt be put into harder and harder situations that you can’t avoid. Always use inclusive words and never say you trust anyone, even if you do. As soon as you say “I trust certain people” or “I trust everyone” you become disingenuous.

4. The Merge
The players you want to take with you to the merge is something you have to be thinking about early on. If they’re strong but will turn on you in a second, get rid of them. If they’re weak but you think they’ll stay loyal, or you can control them, keep them no matter what. You can’t be too obvious about this though because people will know what you are doing. Try and protect the weak loyal ones, but don’t ruin your game for them. Typically stronger players will work with you until the merge and then try and band together with the other physical players as they are clear targets for winning immunity challenges. You need these people for tribal immunity, but you don’t want them around for individual challenges. Systematically take out people who are not in your alliance and use the strong bonds from your original tribe to get you through. If you have a show pony or a particularly susceptible tribe mate, you might want to keep them on a short leash and constantly reassure them of the plan that “BOTH” of you created. If there is a situation in where you are down in numbers and you’re about to be picked off, turn on someone in your tribe – but not your whole tribe. Use the advantage of your social skills to get with the other tribe and help them get rid of someone in your tribe that you were planning to get rid of at the final 4 or 5 anyway. This benefits both you and the other tribe as they believe you’ll help them, but they have just gotten rid of someone for you. Then find the weakest link in that tribe and bring them to you side and have them as your spare tribe mate. This is a numbers game.

5. The Final Tribal
The final tribal is key to everything. If you are lucky enough to get there, then there is one thing to remember  – pander to EVERYONE. If you have played this game right, you should know what is important to each of those jury members. Lie, stroke egos, apologise, own your moves, do whatever you need to to convince those people in that moment that YOU are the most deserving. Once they’ve cast their votes, that is the time to come clean. Anything you can say in that moment to convince them to vote for you, DO IT. If they make a split second decision to vote your way after one comment you make that is not entirely true, who cares? They just gave you a ton of money! Discuss it with them at the reunion show, not before they vote for a winner.

So there you have it. I think the main message to take out of this is that you can’t play too hard or too soft. In this “new school” way of playing survivor everyone is looking to boost their survivor resume with “big moves”. This is fine, but focusing too much on this will end your game. Mediocrity and being a chameleon is the most efficient way to get yourself through this game.

6. The Disclaimer
Remember, this is an imperfect guide as Survivor has been proven to be 50% luck. The many twists and advantages that make good TV cannot be predicted and you have to be willing to change your game play at a moment’s notice. Your head must be in the game at all times – remember you’ll be exhausted. Thirst, hungry, and irritable. Cue reality TV.