- Work was presented too linear
- Takes too long for car accident story to come up
- Music talk drags on too much
- Could add some inter-titles
- exercise use of montage
- Avoid starting with “my name is”
- Too many unknown names mentioned at the start
- See film from an audience perspective
- Remove mention of one mentor
- Make work more flowing, overlap audio to build crescendo
- wrap intro up by 1:30
- Let audience observe first interaction we see of Paul and Fabs
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