I’m oft-described as an over-dramatic little sod. Seriously, like my entire life I’ve condescended into procedural episodes akin to a horrible television show that’s been on for far too many seasons. And yet, nothing’s really happened.

This season – 2013 – so far has been like season six of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It’s trying to be funny, but it’s weighed down by all the depressing crap and by the fact that the main character is devoid of any passion or drive. Really, it’s gone. I just want to crawl into a hole and die sometimes, but for the most part I’d find that boring, and I don’t like boring.

The bane of my existence right now is EVERYTHING, but to keep it relevant to this subject it’s NETWORKED MEDIA. THIS BLOG. My God, this blog, I loved the idea a few weeks ago, but now this subject has thrown a few handfuls of sand in my face and still wants me to play ball with it. I’m so tired, though. I just don’t care.

Back to the TV metaphor, if Networked Media was a story arc, I’d say I was now in the middle of it, drudging through foreign, barren lands trying to find something, anything, that will bring back my ability to give a damn. Maybe a giant space leech will attack me, and I’ll over power it with my telekinesis or something, and then I’ll be able to rise above the space leech’s carcass with a surge of power and strength, that extra burst of self confidence and self assurance that will get me to the end of the semester. I need an epiphany, something that reminds why this blog matters. Why this subject matters. Why this degree matters.

It doesn’t make me happy. Should it?

There’s always a dilemma, something that gets an arc going. One of my favourite books is Atonement, because it deconstructs the way that a story unfolds by featuring a young girl – Briony – who turns her everyday life into an over-dramatic story, describing the world in bold, emotional words and making the smallest of interactions grand, romantic gestures. I’m like that. Ok, I’m not a little English girl, but I dramatise. The easiest way to understand the world is to see it like a television character. Some people say ‘what would Jesus do?’, I say ‘What would Buffy do?’, or maybe Ben Linus, Michael Bluth, Veronica Mars or Malcolm Reynolds. You know, people that aren’t real. They are who really matter.

Row, row, row your boat

Gently down the stream

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily

Life is but a dream

I don’t feel any better. I’m just… tired. Anxious. Bored. Lethargic. A bit patronized. Conceited. Stupid. Patronizing, I’m told. Angry. Always, angry.

But if the world wasn’t always so dreary I wouldn’t have to be angry.

CHEER UP, WORLD, GODDAMN IT.