Okay? … No.

My experience of mindlessly trapping myself in a fandom

I remember when I was about in Year 10, I was thoroughly obsessed and in love with John Green’s novel The Fault in Our Stars. I had finished the book in just days, bookmarking my favourite parts, crying at almost every chapter, before I knew it, I was infatuated with this book and the film adaption released soon after.

It was only until one day, I found myself caught up in an argument with a friend who didn’t see how The Fault in Our Stars was such a good book. The argument ending with my friend storming off, both of us frustrated that we didn’t see how either of us could love/hate this book. As the angsty 16 year old I was then (probably still am now), I thought this friendship was over, until I stepped out of myself for a moment and realised just how irrationally obsessed I was with this book. Seeing myself in different eyes, I noticed how ridiculous it looked of me continuously quoting from the book, obsessing over the actors and most ridiculous of all, starting a fight with my friend because she didn’t like The Fault in Our Stars. She was entitled to her own opinion, but as such an infatuated fan, I felt the need to defend it and almost convert her to loving the book. Surprised at how ‘cultist’ I had become, over the next few weeks I started to realise that this book wasn’t really the ‘best book ever written’, and the film wasn’t ‘the best film ever made’ either. However, was John Green at fault for causing my unhealthy obsession with his novel? I think it’s a definite that my other friends who were fans, and the many posts on TFIOS fan sites contributed to my love for The Fault in Our Stars, but I think it definitely came down to me, as a fan, who took my obsession with this romance story too far.

This epiphany was definitely a big learning curve in my life as a media consumer and creator. I still notice here and there, some very intense fans that will defend their favourite TV show and actors to the death. I admire their enthusiasm and dedication, but it is definitely quite terrifying what extent these individuals can achieve with their pure obsessions.