Studio Visit – Creation of the Creator

Entering into the Studios of those in years above leads ones mind, naturally to comparison. Its like a glimpse into my future; a short walk in the shoes of those senior to me, and so whilst I was attentive, in my visit, to the structure and content of the studio, I was just as interested in the students. I wanted to see how these people walked in the shoes that I would soon own.

Where had the course taken them thus far?

With a brief introduction to the workshop allowing latecomers to meander in out of the rain we were soon split into groups and taken down to the studios, in which we sat in uncomfortably small spaces with our uncomfortably silent partners. I think it was here where my realisation started to take place.

The popular format of goal setting does little to imagine our interim selves. We appear as we are, in the beginnings, our obstacles are laid out, along side strategies to tackle them and at the end a new self is born; lacking all the weaknesses of its predecessor. I am someone who is highly susceptible to this process of thought and so it was with immense curiosity that I viewed those who I saw to be me, mid journey. The harsh reality that met me I don’t think I could have predicted. Mumbled ideas were written down on notepads and a general unease that plagued the members of the room took 15 minutes (give or take) to shift. There were large differences in attitude to the task at hand and even more notably to their positions within this course itself. Quickly I realised:

There was very little similarity between any of the people I was sharing this tiny black room with.

All members of my group drifted towards different elements of the project; the more silent members automatically taking hold of the equipment whilst their more vocal counterparts directed the action. The only thing I really felt existed unanimously between the group was a general lack of direction… or more accurately, a lack of the complete surety that I always envision my future self possessing.

View from Namsan Tower, Seoul

The realisation that this brought on was something that I think I really needed. Each of these peoples paths were individual and thoroughly incomplete. They were making their own way through my course, just as I would soon have to, and their attitudes had led all of them to different places. The course itself wasn’t leading them anywhere, no really, it instead gave them all resources to establish themselves within the medium they sought to practice. In a way, rather than being given direction, they were being supplied a map, the destination being entirely up to them.

Leaving the studio visit left me feeling disconnected but also freed. My course wouldn’t lead me anywhere, these studios showed that. The set up was deliberately free and uncomfortable because it set the stage for us to develop ourselves as creators. Gone are the school days in which I was pushed through my education into slots and crevices that gave me good marks. Here was the outside world in all of its confusing, endless, terrifying, and opportunity filled wonder. A world in which my place would need to be carved out by me, and no one else… and with that in mind I found a new question etched into my brain:

You’ve been given the map, so… where will you go?