I’m not very witty with comebacks.

When my friends tease me, the best I can do is to say “Whatever dude.”

So, I bought myself this little book full of mean jokes and remarks.

They’re quite funny, but I would never say it out loud to people.

One day I found my brother flipping through it and laughing his head off.

So to share some of the humour with you…..

You’re very open-minded. Is that how your brain slipped out?

I like the material of your dress. You were lucky to get so much of it

I’m busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

Do they ever shut up on your planet?

I like you, people say I have no taste, but I like you..

You’re so fat, when you get into an elevator, you have to go down

I thought of you today. I was in the zoo

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you worse advice

I see you were so impressed with your chin, you added 2 more

That’s what they mean by dark and handsome. When it’s dark, you’re handsome.

There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it

I can always tell when you’re lying. Your lips move.

Sigh…Men and their humour.