As human beings within an incredibly diverse and inter-connected wider society, we are all bound by the common need to feel connected, loved, wanted and appreciated. Studies reveal that one of the greatest risk factors in developing a mental illness or substance dependency is loneliness and social isolation (and not necessarily the drug itself that, in effect, acts to fill this void in social connectivity). As a highly sociable person myself, I rely heavily on genuine interpersonal interactions and person-to-person contact which, of course, is somewhat ironic for a communications and media student to say.
There are many pros to social media networks in keeping us “connected” with one another, especially when you live far away from your family (as I do). Yet, on the other hand, it can also be reasonably argued that technology inhibits our ability to approach new people and to cultivate and sustain authentic and real friendships/ relationships. It is important to highlight that I am not criticising social media in all regards at all. A big benefit to this form of communication is allowing us to keep in contact with people when we have different schedules or live in different time zones (as I do to my sister who lives in Berlin, Germany). There are several people with whom I have a continuous conversation going via instant message (such as good friends in Brisbane or with my sister overseas).
What I wish to do, however, is to distinguish between the benefits of communicated via social media in maintaining exisiting relationships and in attempting to build new ones. Within the modern media climate our online identities have such a heavy hand in influencing how we are perceived by those around us and lay the foundation for what are largely artificial relationships and associations. I believe that there are several contributing reasons for this (all of which make me somewhat skeptical as to how “connected” with one another social media really allows us to be):
- Social media networks supplant our real identity and permit us in fabricating a distorted depiction of the person we really are. We present ourselves in a light we believe will make us more ‘likeable’, rather than who we really are;
- These channels allow us to dictate how people see us through the texts that we selectively share (ie. by what photos we put up, what posts we make, what pages we like etc);
- It is very difficult to ascertain the attitude of someone that you don’t know too well when connecting through social media (ie. through instant message);
- Many people genuinely thrive off of real-time connections or, at least, through talking with their friends and family on the phone and in hearing their voice. For many people (such as myself), typing to someone how my day has been does not always suffice;
- Increasing inter-connectivity online makes it too easy to have “difficult conversation” (ie. a fight with a friend or breaking up with someone) instead of facing them in person and saying the same things; and
- Social media also makes it far too easy to “ghost” someone by simply ignoring their messages and not replying. Especially in a dating context, this compromises our accountability to one another and forgives bad manners that would not be considered acceptable in person.
I don’t feel as though I have fully exhausted the list of reasons as to why social media networks limit our ability to nurture and maintain authentic relationships, which is exactly what they strive not to do. Do not get me wrong, these channels serve an invaluable service in supporting bonds and friendships that are already in place (again, especially for friends and family members that live far away from one another). I do also believe, however, that there are more favourable conditions in which to create meaningful connections with one another, especially when you first meet new people.
This conversation is highly relevant to my own ‘initiative project’ and lays the foundation for the project itself. In addressing how I like to meet new people I feel as though I have identified a greater sense of purpose in wanting to sit down with people in my building and interview them. In doing so hopefully I’ll be able to get to the crux of who they are and contribute to this sense of authentic community in an increasingly disconnected and isolated world.
I will also allow me to interrogate and play with a diversity of mediums, which is highly beneficial in a media course.
