After my disenchantment with Media 1, I nominated Exploding Genre as my first studio preference. It was the only one I wanted to do; I just wanted to make movies. When I found out that I was placed in Translating Observation, my second preference, I was disappointed. From reading the pitch, I thought it was this ultra-experimental studio, something I didn’t feel I was prepared for. I put it second not because I wanted to do it, but because I had no desire to do any of the other ones. Well now I’m quite convinced that this was the only studio for me. I cringe at and hate my previous self for my initial reaction; I’m too quick to judge. It was only 20 minutes into the first studio session that I became grateful for my luck; I could tell Robin would be an invaluable resource, which he was. Ultimately, however, I didn’t make the most out of the studio experience.
Despite being somewhat of an observer, I had never really written an observation before this studio. As a result, I was confused during our first studio class when Robin advised us to “just write” for the next 30 or so minutes. I realised that there were no rules when writing an observation, and this freedom encouraged me to write really honest observations. However, as Robin noted, my observations didn’t have a lot of variety in them in terms of perspective. I would always involve myself in them, and I regret not experimenting with the form a bit more. I also regret not writing enough observations. There were plenty of occasions where I wrote observations that I didn’t publish, as I wasn’t really happy with them. But that attitude defeats the purpose of the studio; it was about improving your craft rather than presenting it. My small amount of published works had an impact on my reflections; they, like my observations, didn’t have a lot of depth or diversity. However, without a doubt, this studio has changed the way I observe things. I have noticed that I have a greater appreciation for art, I have a tendency to analyse most situations I’m involved in, and I get caught up on trivialities (which isn’t a bad thing).
My unexpected enthusiasm for the studio had me borrow a tripod and the Sony EX3 early on in the semester. The bus home with the equipment was hell, and so was the night I spent trying to work the camera. Looking back on this night, I didn’t have any patience. The EX3 was a great mystery to me, and I was desperate to master it. But I didn’t understand or respect the process; it was naive of me to think I could teach myself how to use it in one night. Unfortunately this lazy mindset continued for the next month or so; it wasn’t until working on the short film that my attitude changed. I wish I borrowed more equipment earlier on; for the benefit of myself and my studio experience.
During this middle-period of the semester (just before the short-films), I was mulling over what I would pitch as my short film idea. The idea I went with was pretty weak; it wasn’t particularly that interesting and I hadn’t really thought through how I would make it. This was easily the most disappointing moment of the course; I trust my ideas and know what I’m capable of, but that’s useless if you don’t give yourself a proper chance to create something. Fortunately, Alaine’s idea resonated with me.
Working with Alaine has easily been the best film-related experience I have had. The amount that I have learned, as well as the fulfilment I have got out of it is invaluable. I don’t think I would have had the same feeling if I hadn’t changed my mindset coming into the project, and, more importantly, if I worked on a different project. The freedom we had on this project made my relationship with it all the more personal; it was why I was drawn towards it in the first place. I honestly feel I ‘explored’ what we were making, truly. Not ‘explore’ as in present, but ‘explore’ as in further understand the concepts we investigate during the creating process.
I attribute a lot of our group’s success to our relationship with the film. The expectation wasn’t to make a good film, in a traditional sense. It was to try and unpack difficult ideas, ideas that we feel strongly about, through cinematic expression. The film’s unusual form was unlike anything I had worked on before, and yet, it’s what makes it all the more special.
If there was one thing I wish the course would add, it would be a screening. Robin would show the class some truly brilliant pieces of cinema, but it felt like a tease as we didn’t have enough time to either watch more or watch it all. When Robin showed us 5 or so minutes of Chantal Akerman’s From The East (1993), my mind was truly blown and I watched the whole of it that night. I’m sure given the opportunity, Robin would have loved to have a screening.
This studio could not have been taught by someone other than Robin. Robin has easily been the most influential teacher I have had. His approach to film and his methods of teaching have helped me greatly. Therefore I am disappointed that I didn’t put in what was required earlier on. In fact, after writing this, I have realised that I regret even more than I initially thought. However, Robin’s teachings have still had a substantial impact on me, and they will continue to during the rest of my lifetime.