I guess i’m just one of those people. I love the idea of long term anything, but boy, do i hate commitment. I can’t commit to anything, and i mean it. This one time, i joined a gym, and for about a month, i went every chance i could. I’d wake up at 5am, pack my school bag and take a bus to the gym while everyone at home was still sleeping. I’d fit in a morning yoga class then a quick session on the elliptical before hitting the showers, walking 5 minutes to the nearest shopping centre where i’d get some brekky, then i’d go to school. Then the next day, i’d go again and on the lucky occasion that i had an early finish I’d get there earlier, just to leave at the same time i usually would. I’d make sure i went at least 3-4 days a week, and most days after finishing at the gym i’d walk back to that same shopping centre and hit the library next door until 9pm, only to go home, sleep, wake up and do it all again the next day. After a month was up, I was back to my usual routine of waking up at 9 and realising I was already missing class, so i’d take my sweet time getting ready and rocked up whenever I wanted. I never, ever did my homework but my teachers loved me so I got away with it, and I still went to the library most days, but only to pretend to do homework and giggle quietly over youtube videos and gossip about how stupid boys were.

And everyday I kick myself for it! I can’t even commit to unimportants things, like not spending my entire week’s paycheque on clothes and shoes (life’s really hard, guys) or remembering to wash my clothes when electricity is cheaper (i have a huge overflowing laundry basket in my room, it’s filthy) or even painting the nails on BOTH my hands, as opposed to giving up half way, and walking around with one bare hand… I NEED HELP. I have all these plans, to re-join a gym, or go on a diet, or start a homework routine or SOMETHING, but i just can’t do it! Something always holds me back and i just can’t help it :'(

Perhaps I need to use double-loop learning to create a new system for myself? Seriously though, I’m getting fed-up with myself. I can’t even commit to the party animal inside of me, I haven’t been out in 4 weeks. Come on Regina, who even are you!?

So I was on the bus home from uni, listening to music, as per usual. Most of the songs that had come on were in fact new to me, so I had no particular association with these songs. Until I heard the familar strumming of the intro to “No One’s Gonna Love You” by Band of Horses. This is an absolute favourite song of mine. It’s beautiful in every sense of the word. My only problem with this song is I played it REPEATEDLY in July of last year, when I was in a bit of a funk. Slowly but surely, I had associated my sadness with this song. So low and behold, when this song came on while I was sitting on a full bus at 5.45 on a Wednesday afternoon, I couldn’t help but burst into tears. I had conditioned myself to feel extremely upset when I heard this song. Sorry Ben Bridwell… <3 I still adore your voice!

I’ve realised that this has happened to me on multiple occasions though, and not just with songs. And it’s not just the conditioning that gets me. It’s like deja vu. These context and state dependent cues place me pretty much back in time. When I hear any song from Eminem’s “Recovery”, I imagine myself sitting in Advanced Science in year 10 looking out the window into the upper courtyard watching the rain fall and not being able to contain myself waiting for class to be over so I could find my boyfriend. Then when I hear “Look At Me Now” by Chris Brown I am extremely joyful recalling standing on the tables in Methods in year 11 with my friend Fae as we tried to rap the entire Busta Rhymes verse fluently while our substitute teacher struggled to make us quiet in room 206 during our double period. Similarly, whenever I smell the men’s fragrance Black XS, I feel the rush of excitement it used to create for me when I thought someone I once knew had walked into the room, which then fades to sadness again as I remember our falling out. Oh and when I smell hair dye. I think about Summer. I think about when I had long hair and all the friends I’ve had try to dye my hair and have it gone horribly wrong and how hilarious it was to try and find different hairstyles that would hide my hideous colouring until I could get an appointment at a salon (this happened, MANY times… I never learned).

It’s strange, how these thing can cue certain memories; songs, sounds, images, tastes, smells. And maybe it’s my underlying desire to become a Psychologist one day, but I love that our brain works like that. And I love learning about it. It’s a new sense of discovery that is just so relevant to our lives. Everything you learn in Psych creates links in our brains- our mannerisms and traits and behaviours and feelings just all make sense, even if just for one second. You discover this new part of yourself that makes sense, and for once, you’re not crazy. These cues are my favourite thing about psychology though. And the one thing I loved learning about, because now I have a way to remember all the things I had once forgotten. So bring on the rifling of old CD’s! My treasure hunt is only just beginning!

If you’ve ever worked in retail, there are a few things you learn.

Firstly, almost everybody sucks. Customers. Ugh. They suck. They ask you questions, and block your way, and bring trolleys into your store, and screaming children! They litter and they leave things in the wrong place and they breathe and exist. Like seriously?

No, but really. Here are 21 things you’ll only know if you’ve worked in retail. And if you haven’t, please. Try to understand our pain. We secretly hate you all.

BuzzFeed has to be my favourite blog of all time. It covers everything from news to entertainment to lifestyle, but being the internet addict I am, I have to say I’m definitely there for the Ryan Gosling GIFs and mockery of American politicians. And funny pictures of pugs.

If you don’t do anything else today, at least read this post-The 15 Most Difficult “Would You Rather” Questions of All Time. it has to be my absolute favourite BuzzFeed post, and has definitely helped me conquer the unsettling wonders of my brain.

But the pugs… They complete me.

Ahhhhhh, the fresh smell of a four-day weekend. Wait, what’s that? I can’t smell anything? That’d be right, because I got THE FLU. Or sinusitis… Dr. Google does wonders for my late night curiosty/lack of transport to a GP. How was I supposed to know that going outside for 5 minutes when it was sunny but cold was going to trigger my hot/cold flushes, dizziness, muscle weakness, back pains and swollen throat?! HELP ME! Something is definitely wrong! But being the raging alcoholic that I am, I powered through! *triumphant fist pump*

I finished work at 4, popped into safeway for my weekly $6 bottle of Passion Pop (don’t judge me), and went home after walking through the centre with what was obviously a bottle of alcohol in a brown paper bag.Tacky, much? I took the longest, hottest shower of my life, put on trackies over my leggings and 2 jumpers over a long sleeve, wrapped myself up in my snuggie and two comforters, turned the heating up to 25 and took a nap. Waking up 40 minutes later… I felt amazing. So I cleaned the house, and awaited the arrival of my house guests.

By 8PM, almost everyone was there, and after listening to Brendan complain about how he wanted to play outside so he could smoke, we set up the King’s cup, and our deck of cards. For those of you who don’t know, King’s cup is possibly the best game ever invented. The rules are simple- Each card represents an act. In a circle, take turns to pick a card and then complete said act. Rules vary, but our rules are the best:

Ace: Rule. Whoever picks this card gets to choose a rule, e.g. no phones, no swearing, no pointing etc. If you break the rule, you drink.
Two: You. You pick the card? You pick someone to drink.
Three: Me. Bad luck, you have to drink.
Four: Thumb. Whoever picks this card can subtly place their thumb on their face at any time and everyone else must do so when they notice- Last person to notice drinks.
Five: Guys. Simple. Guys drink.
Six: Chicks. Soz gals!
Seven: Waterfall. This is my least favourite. Whoever picks the card starts to drink and the following person must also drink. You can’t stop drinking until the person before you stops. Sort of like a mexican wave for alcoholics :’) this rule has made for some very good (and bad) times.
Eight: Mate. Pick a person and whenever you drink, they drink. Whenever they drink, you drink!
Nine: Rhyme. Say a word and the next person must say a rhyming word. Whoever can’t think of a word, drinks!
Ten: Categories. Exactly the same as rhyme, but with categories.
Jack: Never have I ever. Say something you’ve never done, whoever has done it, drinks! My favourite one is “Never have I ever finished an entire bottle of beer”, gets everyone, every time.
Queen: Questionaire. This unlucky person gets to ask questions as often as they want, but if you answer, you have to drink. This card basically alienates you until the next Queen is drawn.
King: The first three Kings that are drawn allow the person to put as much or as little of their drink into the King’s cup. The person who draws the last King has to drink the entire thing.

As you can imagine, this game makes for some very drunk people in a very short amount of time. Being the clever girl I am though, I mixed my Passion Pop with lemonade in order to reduce the onset of uncoordination and slurred speech. After playing our disgraceful game, we spent time gossiping about our tragic, everyday lives and once the alcohol had worn off, I went back to having waves of a high fever, followed by extreme chills. I probably shouldn’t have had anything to drink….

Hindsight’s a bitch.