I guess i’m just one of those people. I love the idea of long term anything, but boy, do i hate commitment. I can’t commit to anything, and i mean it. This one time, i joined a gym, and for about a month, i went every chance i could. I’d wake up at 5am, pack my school bag and take a bus to the gym while everyone at home was still sleeping. I’d fit in a morning yoga class then a quick session on the elliptical before hitting the showers, walking 5 minutes to the nearest shopping centre where i’d get some brekky, then i’d go to school. Then the next day, i’d go again and on the lucky occasion that i had an early finish I’d get there earlier, just to leave at the same time i usually would. I’d make sure i went at least 3-4 days a week, and most days after finishing at the gym i’d walk back to that same shopping centre and hit the library next door until 9pm, only to go home, sleep, wake up and do it all again the next day. After a month was up, I was back to my usual routine of waking up at 9 and realising I was already missing class, so i’d take my sweet time getting ready and rocked up whenever I wanted. I never, ever did my homework but my teachers loved me so I got away with it, and I still went to the library most days, but only to pretend to do homework and giggle quietly over youtube videos and gossip about how stupid boys were.

And everyday I kick myself for it! I can’t even commit to unimportants things, like not spending my entire week’s paycheque on clothes and shoes (life’s really hard, guys) or remembering to wash my clothes when electricity is cheaper (i have a huge overflowing laundry basket in my room, it’s filthy) or even painting the nails on BOTH my hands, as opposed to giving up half way, and walking around with one bare hand… I NEED HELP. I have all these plans, to re-join a gym, or go on a diet, or start a homework routine or SOMETHING, but i just can’t do it! Something always holds me back and i just can’t help it :'(

Perhaps I need to use double-loop learning to create a new system for myself? Seriously though, I’m getting fed-up with myself. I can’t even commit to the party animal inside of me, I haven’t been out in 4 weeks. Come on Regina, who even are you!?