Oh, yuck. So I’m old now?

So… I’m officially 19. I’m not sure how to feel… 19 is such an unappealing number. Like, I’m definitely overage now… but am i still a teenager? HOW DOES THIS WORK? Can I still go out without makeup on and pull of being a 12 year old? Or can I walk into a bottle shop without being asked for ID? What actually changes now that I’m 19? anything?! or do i just get to feel old and disgusting for the rest of my life? 🙁 farewell, my youth! it’s been great.

On a positive note, I worked today (not really positive) but I gOt A pAyRiSe oH yIs PlS! i’m very excited for pay day next Tuesday. Not that the increase is significant… i just want money 🙁 me needs money. me so brokey.

I’m extremely comfortable saying this right here, because nobody I know will ever see this… But this year’s presents totally sucked. Seriously, do none of my friends actually know me?

Here’s a list of things I got:

  • a pink snuggie
  • perfume
  • a cupcake
  • home-made granola (like seriously, wtf)
  • a gold watch (wait for it…) that’s too big, and has brown links
  • a 3-panel wallet
  • a big zebra toy and men’s cologne

A list of things I wanted:

  • a baby cactus
  • churros

Look, i’m not saying i’m not grateful, because I am. I love that my friends put in the effort to come up with a gift that they thought I would like. But I’m honestly not like other people. When I say I don’t want presents, I DO NOT WANT PRESENTS. Because now I have to fumble with an ugly wallet that doesn’t even have enough spaces for all my cards, I have to keep an expensive watch sitting on my dresser because it doesn’t fit me, nor do i own ANY clothes that go with a BROWN watch (yes i know, i’m pathetically pretentious, i hate myself too), and my room smells like a fat old man. AND I HAVE TO EAT GRANOLA?! WHY DIDN’T I JUST GET MORE CUPCAKES?!

Why didn’t I just get a cactus? When everyone asked me what I wanted… that’s literally what i said. And NOBODY GOT ME A GODDAMN CACTUS. 🙁

This post’s takeaway: Regina pretends to be very simple, undemanding and un-materialistic… THIS IS A LIE. I JUDGE EVERYONE. Please don’t hate me.

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