So I was on the bus home from uni, listening to music, as per usual. Most of the songs that had come on were in fact new to me, so I had no particular association with these songs. Until I heard the familar strumming of the intro to “No One’s Gonna Love You” by Band of Horses. This is an absolute favourite song of mine. It’s beautiful in every sense of the word. My only problem with this song is I played it REPEATEDLY in July of last year, when I was in a bit of a funk. Slowly but surely, I had associated my sadness with this song. So low and behold, when this song came on while I was sitting on a full bus at 5.45 on a Wednesday afternoon, I couldn’t help but burst into tears. I had conditioned myself to feel extremely upset when I heard this song. Sorry Ben Bridwell… <3 I still adore your voice!

I’ve realised that this has happened to me on multiple occasions though, and not just with songs. And it’s not just the conditioning that gets me. It’s like deja vu. These context and state dependent cues place me pretty much back in time. When I hear any song from Eminem’s “Recovery”, I imagine myself sitting in Advanced Science in year 10 looking out the window into the upper courtyard watching the rain fall and not being able to contain myself waiting for class to be over so I could find my boyfriend. Then when I hear “Look At Me Now” by Chris Brown I am extremely joyful recalling standing on the tables in Methods in year 11 with my friend Fae as we tried to rap the entire Busta Rhymes verse fluently while our substitute teacher struggled to make us quiet in room 206 during our double period. Similarly, whenever I smell the men’s fragrance Black XS, I feel the rush of excitement it used to create for me when I thought someone I once knew had walked into the room, which then fades to sadness again as I remember our falling out. Oh and when I smell hair dye. I think about Summer. I think about when I had long hair and all the friends I’ve had try to dye my hair and have it gone horribly wrong and how hilarious it was to try and find different hairstyles that would hide my hideous colouring until I could get an appointment at a salon (this happened, MANY times… I never learned).

It’s strange, how these thing can cue certain memories; songs, sounds, images, tastes, smells. And maybe it’s my underlying desire to become a Psychologist one day, but I love that our brain works like that. And I love learning about it. It’s a new sense of discovery that is just so relevant to our lives. Everything you learn in Psych creates links in our brains- our mannerisms and traits and behaviours and feelings just all make sense, even if just for one second. You discover this new part of yourself that makes sense, and for once, you’re not crazy. These cues are my favourite thing about psychology though. And the one thing I loved learning about, because now I have a way to remember all the things I had once forgotten. So bring on the rifling of old CD’s! My treasure hunt is only just beginning!