Elizabeth Henry was kind enough to share her brain. I’m not sure who she is, but the credit goes to her.

I’m an anxious person. Adrian got me thinking. I’m also a terrible manager of time. Thinking about our default behaviours and defensiveness. I’m also abhorrent at organisation. See a link? I see it, I see it all the time and I’ve seen it many times before. Why don’t I fix it? Well, I try. But strangely enough it never works.

You see, I also have lacklustre commitment capabilities. Whenever I try and fix it, I give up. Generally though, it’s because something puts me off.

So, I take a few weeks and really endeavour to manage my time better and organise and plan my activities. I write things down, get everywhere on time and generally try and avoid any situation that will cause any sort of disorganisation, stress or anxiety. It all works great. Until I have to organise or plan something that’s anything bigger than a menial daily task. Because when I plan an activity that’s of any importance to me, it makes me anxious. Then I revert to my default behaviour.

Now I’m in trouble. I try and put it off. I try and get away from it. I’ll try and ignore it. Then I become unorganised, because at the last minute, I’m forced to rush (Assignments; for some reason that word comes to mind) after putting it away and out of my mind.   

From there, everything goes out the window. Then my brain thinks it’s best to simply avoid organisation. But then I get anxious from being rushed all the time. It’s a vicious circle. Bad habits are hard to snap out of. There’s something more to it.

Maybe I just have to commit myself to change better and become more adaptable. Easier said than done.