After playing host to a couple of overseas friends, it had finally come time to make the much talked about and highly dreaded voyage down the great ocean road.

After years of avoiding such trips, the responsibility had fallen on me to act as chauffeur to our guests. Departing Mordor (Geelong) at 8:00am we navigated the first part of the trip with relative ease, managing to make it to Lorne by 10:00am with the obligatory tourist stops along the way. Then the traffic hit. For 40km we (and a multitude of other cars) were stuck behind a tourist, who couldn’t quite grasp then concept of a “slow vehicle turnout lane”. This pain was quickly remedied when the car made a pit stop in Apollo Bay (presumably to ask someone what a slow vehicle turnout lane is).

Pushing forward we were now at the helm of the crusade of cars behind us, and I felt it was my job to push the group as fast as we could possibly handle, taking corners at 1.05 times the recommended speed.

Stopping in at various lookouts and tourist hotspots along the way, I now managed to gain some appreciation for the road and rugged coastline we were navigating as well as the beauty it beheld.

Finishing our trek at ‘The Bay Of Islands’ (7.5 hours after we left) everyone was ready to pack it in and fold like a like a well made hotel bed sheet. This now left 3 sleeping passengers in the car with only myself and the radio to make the journey back.

Rounding out an odd 11 hours of driving, we pulled up back into the driveway and stumbled out of the car. Somewhat more enlightened than before, but definitely more tired.

– donandsherri