My work-in-progress example of my exploration toward creating a screen story is an excerpt from the Ink screenplay (below).

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SCENE ONE. EXT. DAY. A distressed looking mother tugs a suitcase in one hand and holds her young son’s in the other. They walk hastily to a train station, the boy looking confused and anxious to help his mother. The mother shakes as she fishes around in her purse for small change, then shoves it into the ticket machine. Two tickets print. She crouches down to be on eye level with her son.

Mother: this is our ticket to freedom.

Son: where are we going?

Mother (eyes tearing up as she holds her son’s face): wherever we want to, baby

Son: dad isn’t coming?

Mother (hugging son): no. We are safe now. It’s just you and me against the world.

Son: mum?

Mother: yes?

Son: we will be okay. I have super powers.

Mother (audibly crying): that’s right Jack, I am very lucky to have you to protect me. Now don’t forget your suitcase, let’s go on an adventure, huh?

The mother ushers her son onto the first train that arrives. The train is empty but for a sleeping homeless man. Jack sits next to the window, his arm holding up his face as his mother fidgeting with their belongings next to him. As the train pulls away, black lines begin to swirl on the hand Jack’s chin is resting upon to form an image; A tall woman and a child running away from a house with a lightning bolt through it.

OPENING CREDITS

SCENE TWO. EXT. NIGHT. Jack, now 23, sits around a campfire with several friends, laughing and smoking. To his right sits a girl wearing a crop top and short shorts, her ink clearly visible for the world to see. Jack is now a stern looking young adult wearing a long sleeve shirt and long pants. Jack’s only visible ink is a few small markings on his hands and the back of his neck.

Bridgette (sipping from a beer in her hand): Alright, alright, it’s my turn. Never have I ever… stolen something.

Silence falls as Bridgette looks around the circle. Jack, Summer, Glen and Jack take a sip and then burst into laughter.

Paul: no way! I don’t believe you are capable of that Jack! Alright then, ‘round the circle, confess your sins! What did ‘ya take you felons?

Summer: cigarettes from my mum’s handbag when I was eleven

Paul: I am dating a thief!?

Summer: you know it! What about you, Glen?

Glen: well I stole something I can never give back.

The group falls silent.

Glen: Sasha Viyamonte’s virginity ayooooo!

Paul hi-fives Glen, Summer scoffs.

Bridgette: you are such a tosser, Glen.

Summer: if you ever talk about me that way Paul, we’re done.

Paul (nudging Summer): Oh c’mon babe. You’ve already stolen something from me….my heart.

Summer lightly punches Paul’s shoulder.

Glen: what about you then, Jack?

FLASHBACK- Scene three?

EXT. NIGHT. Young Jack crouches with his mother, shivering in the street.

Mother: I’m so sorry darling. I’ve got some money hidden with your Aunt, but we are just going to have to stay here the night.

Jacks nods and hugs his mother as she drifts off to sleep, slumped against a wall. Jack opens the suitcase. A collection of odds and ends-nothing they need for a new life. Jack’s stomach rumbles- he kisses his mum on the forehead, tucks her beneath his Thomas the Tank Engine baby blanket, and walks to a late night convenience store.

INT. NIGHT.

Jack squints in the bright white light of the store. Behind the counter is a old, withered man serving a teenager attempting to buy alcohol with a fake I.D. Jack uses this distraction to slip a candy bar into his pocket, unaware that the cashier sees him doing so. The cashier refuses to serve the teenager, who stumbles out of the store swearing, dropping a few coins on the way. Jack picks up the coins and looks toward the cashier.

Cashier: you keep it, mate. You seem like a good enough kid. Just don’t turn out like one of them, eh? (He motions towards the teenagers waiting outside the store, making a mess).

Jack fiddles with the candy bar in his pocket. The change isn’t enough to buy it.

Jack: thanks.

Cashier: just do the right thing, okay?

Jack (picking up a packet of chewing gum): I’ll buy this. For my mum. She likes having the feeling of clean teeth.

Cashier: is that all for today?

Jack (ashamed): yep.

Cashier (ringing it up): All right, take this to your mum. A good, honest boy you are!

Jacks walks out, feeling ashamed. As he turns, the cashier sees a picture forming on his right shoulder; a small boy taking something from an old man.

Scene two. Ext. Night.

Jack (looking down at his drink): I took a candy bar from a shop once.

Glen: well geez Jack, you look as if you’ve killed a man. That’s nothing.

Summer: yeah, Sasha steals jeans from the shop she works at almost every shift.

Glen: Ahhh Sasha, always trying to get into someone else’s pants!

The group erupts into laughter and conversation.

Jack (under his breath): it was a lot for me at the time.

Reflection (on both the script above and how it came to be with the brainstorming pictured below)

Amongst my three jobs and other uni work, I let my writing time slip from me for a while. However, last week I allocated some un-interrupted time for me to flesh out my ideas, and I couldn’t stop. Being the visual learner that I am, I made numerous mind maps (pictured), sketches of characters and even a few costume design mock-ups. I couldn’t stop- I was on a roll! I then realised that I had done the classic “start too big then feel overwhelmed” chestnut. And I was lost again. But then a ray of light in the form of an excerpt from Craig Batty’s Screenplays: How to Write and Sell Them illuminated the darkness enveloping me. HALLELUJAH!

The result of the first of many brainstorming sessions.

As you can see from my “to-do” list, this quick brainstorm was done while I was cleaning at work.

I thought if I started writing characters the world might start making sense…

If you can read this, congratulations!

I found the questions from Batty’s fourth chapter (Creating a World) intensely helpful. The provocative nature of Batty’s questions inspired me but also helped my stay grounded by choosing the best elements of my brainstormed world to make the final cut. Before reading excerpts from Batty’s book, all I knew was that I wanted to create this huge alternate universe where there were so many options for a narrative to evolve- I just didn’t know which one to follow. As you can see from my mind maps, I was considering taking the plot in many different directions, from psychological thriller to sitcom comedy. The segment on “structuring the world” was particularly helpful, as this is where my writing often falls flat. I always have so many ideas that fight for the attention and distract from the overall mood and tone I am trying to portray. My answers to Batty’s questions (available in a previous posts here and here) proved useful not just for my exercises on my final work but for my pitch as well.

Although Batty’s book was helpful, the excerpt from my screenplay above is the result of me simply sitting down and typing what first came to my head. I had no idea of what was going to happen as I wrote it, no clear plot or even characters. All of the characters I had brainstormed about were left behind as I found it much easier to write with the flow of my thoughts rather than follow constructed profiles I had previously made. I have always had a hard time following the traditional creative process, but after lots of thinking and questioning (cheers Batty!) I resolved to work the way that has proved best for me in the past. The reading from Screenplays: How to Write and Sell Them was unquestionably helpful in clearing my mind on some world specific structure and theme, but I always find it easier to write characters and their arcs straight from the heart. As you can see from the difference between my work in progress scenes compared to my character sketch workings , my characters are very different from the ones I initially thought up. Writing without a plan gives me a rush- the feeling of not knowing where something is going until it gets there is refreshing to me.

Of course, the script above is not perfect. There are grammatical errors, chunky parts of dialogue and I’m not totally certain on how to write what I would refer to as the “stage directions” of the script. In the coming weeks and with the help of my peers and maybe even some more of Batty’s book, I will be rigorously editing my work. I think I particularly need to work on establishing setting, as upon re-reading the script above from an objective point of view it is not overly developed however it is an important component of the story. And now that I’ve finished writing this post, I realise that there is not a huge amount to reflect upon the actual script itself however the process of making it has a LOT of potential for reflection, as I have just done.

*exhales*

 Ciao for now!