PB2 POST TWO

Writing exercises

#1 Photostory treatment writing

Image 1: Having arrived outside his university, the student jumps of his bike and heads towards his building, not sparing a moment to lock it properly as he knows he is already running terribly late.

Image 2: Workbook in hand, the student bolts towards his classroom anxiously, past dozens of relaxed students chatting on the grass.

Image 3: The beautiful day outside seems to mock the student as he nears his destination- the windows of his soon to be prison reflecting the trees and sun outside. There seems to be a longer route ahead of him than behind him as he continues his trek to class.

Image 4: Putting this out of his mind and running so fast his feet barely touch the ground, the student persists.

Image 5: The student comes to the top of a staircase and continues at his fast pace. Students strolling casually around him look confused.

Image 6: After a misjudgement and consequential trip, the student finds himself at the bottom of the dirty, gum-plastered staircase and is greeted by unconcerned students stepping over him.

Image 7: Back on his feet, puffed and aching, the student finally rounds the corner to his classroom.

Image 8: The student reads the sign on the door he has worked so hard to reach; “Class cancelled (public holiday)”.

Image 9: The student is filled with rage, discomfort from his fall and irritation that he forgot that class was cancelled on public holidays. He emits a nonsensical string of swears and curses.

#2 Photostory Screenwriting

EXT. STONE STAIRCASE-UNIVERSITY. DAY.

BRYAN, 20, an enthusiastic university student dressed in a checkered flannel and jean shorts, lies, having just fallen, at the bottom of a STONE STAIRCASE as nonchalant students step over him. His face is torn between a mixture of pain, frustration and anxiety as the sun beats down on him.

From the DIRTY, GUM-PLASTERED STEPS where he rests, contorted from the fall, BRYAN shakily stands up and brushes himself off as more students push past him.

STUDENTS going up and down the STAIRCASE chatter, BRYAN overhears them as he weaves in between GROUPS OF PASSERSBY but does not pay attention.

STUDENT ONE (to BRYAN, in pain and limping on STEPS)

Out of the way first year, I’ve got a barbecue to run

STUDENT TWO (to STUDENT ONE)

Davo, you got the bangaz, yeah?

STUDENT THREE (to FRIEND)

C’mon, I wanna get there before all the veggie-patties are gone

STUDENT FOUR (to STUDENT FIVE)

I’m tellin’ you man, she was all over me!

STUDENT FIVE

But instead of spending your day off with her, you’re here for a free O-week barbecue? Dude, c’mon. We’re not even first years here, you could be with Stayci right now doing God knows what.

STUDENT FOUR (shrugging)

I like free food.

Reflection

In my writing exercises above, I attempted to first describe each photo individually as it would appear on a storyboard and secondly bring it to life with a rough script. I was particularly enthusiastic about writing the script as I think the photos speak for themselves in terms of description, and I had a lot of fun playing with characters all discussing the fact that it is actually a public holiday, but poor Bryan is too concerned with racing to class to notice. Upon reflection, I think the piece could be improved by making the point a little clearer; perhaps Student Five should say something a little more obvious like “But instead of spending the public holiday with her”. I didn’t want to signpost too much and feed the audience and thus left it as “your day off”, however I am unsure if this would translate in a live action adaptation of the scene as there is a lot going on. I would be interested in adapting this as a short screenwriting exercise as I think it has potential for a funny little skit. I guess I will have to see where it goes from here!

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