I must admit, I am very far behind in all aspects of my life at the moment. After a very stressful year last year, I promised myself that 2015 would be a new year for (yes, I know it is the MOST cliche` New Years resolution ever) a new me. It is now April, I am six days away from my nineteenth birthday and I have come to the realization that nothing has changed.

I promised myself that I would be organized; have all my work handed in before its due date, keep my work spaces and room tidy, keep up a sparkling perfect punctuality record, work harder and save more of my money- the list of things I planned to change is endless. And while I knew other things on my list such as “get fit” and “become a better musician” were going to take a lot of time and effort to pursue, I am surprised (and thoroughly disheartened) at how almost everything on my list is proving to be just as hard.

As passionate as I am about Media, I often put off writing these blog posts, assuring myself that I will catch up once I’ve established whether I have been doing them correctly or not. My procrastination has now caused me to be weeks behind. I have also managed to make each project brief and assignments from other classes harder for myself by setting impossible goals to reach which then result in me ditching my grand ideas and cramming to finish them at the last minute.

I am particularly disappointed in myself because there really is no excuse for me to be behind- I am finally studying what I want to study. As much as I hated it at the time, I think the constant pestering that I felt in high school was what made me do my work. Now it is all up to me, and I have next to no motivation to do anything other than watch movies all the time. I won’t get an angry call if I don’t turn up to class, and if I don’t hand my work in no one will chase me up on it. If I’m late, I don’t need to hang my head in shame and get my diary signed by an angsty reception lady anymore.   Scattered around my room are day planners, to-do lists, calendars and organizers of every kind, but it seems that no matter how neatly I draw out my plans or how many reminder magnets I attach to my fridge I just seem to keep ending up on the bottle of a pile of regret and to-dos.

But…

I am not going to sit here feeling sorry for myself. I always liked to say that life (and particularly education) was not meant to be lived by structure, but at least until I get into the hang of things I need to stick by one. For years I had teachers and councilors sitting me down and making me draw a planner out in front of them. I always protested, because I whole heartedly believe that trying to plan out your day to a T is impossible. I could never schedule in time for homework, because my life is very touch-and-go, and my daily timetable is never the same. I have only ever worked jobs in which I have had no set times, but have had to be ready for a call with as little as half an hour’s notice. My family are very busy and just as spontaneous, so sure, I could schedule in to do my maths work from four o clock but I might get home to find that my mother has planned for me to practice driving as this is the only time she is free, I have some sort of appointment or you know, there’s a mariachi band in my living room that need a percussionist.  Year twelve was particularly hard for me, as I could not plan on when I could do my work but rather just had to do it whenever I had a spare second. I thought that my life would settle down once I finished year twelve but it continues to remain just as hectic, but I guess it’s better to be busy than to be bored. Alas, I have attempted to develop a plan that fits in with my unorganized life style. Here it is;

1. I will drive at every available opportunity, thus making 120 hours before July.
2. I will do my Cinema Studies reading every week on the train home from the class in which it has been set. Knowing I have a whole week until my reading is due allows me to put it off, so from now on I will have read it by Friday and try my best to finish my log as soon as possible.
3. I will prepare everything I need for class the night before, including food so that I don’t end up eating Hungry Jacks for the rest of my life.
4. I will no longer sleep in on weekdays, even when I have a late start. As an insomniac, writing this just sounds painful, but it’s about time I put it into action.
5. I will restrict my expenditure on entertainment (movie tickets, events, eating out) to $20 per week
6. I will put 80% of my weekly earnings into my savings account and 10% into my fuel fund.
7. I will write three posts on this blog per week, no excuses, otherwise I must sacrifice the next opportunity I am presented with to visit friends.
8. I will not be late to class, or else I must sacrifice my morning tea to do work that I missed.
9. I will stop saying “yes” to everything in order to have more time to do the important things.
10. I will keep everything tidy or else I must sacrifice watching any movies until it is clean.

No excuses. I can do this.