The sketch from our writer’s room portfolio I will be writing about is ‘Walk of Shame With the Boys’, my initial inspiration for writing this sketch was an old college humor skit I had watched a year or two ago simply titled ‘March of Shame’ ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MM3KkF5urY ) . This sketch is presented as a nature documentary of sorts but following a pack of girls the day after a college party, the initial draft of my sketch in particular was largely similar in content and also set on a stereotypical American college campus. However the main difference of course was the flipped reality wherein the boys were the ones making the journey instead of the girls.
After writing the initial draft, within the group we made subtle changes to certain characters and dialogue focusing moreso on creating a dynamic combining the flipped reality with exaggeration of the typical tropes of American college students where this sort of situation is projected onto a group of males being in the more vulnerable position. Using references and characters that reflect the college culture of trying to hook up with as many people as possible for bragging rights and a fabricated sense of manliness and superiority. However the only character active within the script displaying this sort of attitude is Cassie, she became a scapegoat of sorts for all of the overly sexual and cringe inducing behaviors associated with the typical college lad who sleeps around a lot. Within the context of the script she is both female and lesbian, (and in the first draft also Asian) in reality the furthest thing you could probably get from a straight white college jock. This was intended both to make the exaggerated behavior both acceptable for the audience as well as humorous. While Casie is undoubtedly the straight line character, I had intended her comic perspective within the sketch to be such that it excuses her cringy and obnoxious lines to make the audience more comfortable with the subject matter especially the more rapey joke at the end (which has been removed in the later draft.) While she’s “just as bad as them” Casie’s also against the hyper-hetero bragging culture of the frat girls, as Vorhaus (1994, p. 38) states ‘what you really want is a kind of synergy between flaws and perspective so that some flaws conflict with the perspective while others reinforce it’. Casie’s main saving grace within the context of the script is simply that she’s not trying to sleep with or hit on the two main male characters in earnest.
After our writer’s room feedback session with Cal Wilson I realised there was a lot of room for improvement and having collected a bunch of constructive criticism on the script I made some major changes to the characters, dialogue and setting of the sketch. As a group we sat down and discussed the points of feedback given and made the decision to re-write in an Australian setting with my two other group members giving me their own feedback on my new ideas for the second draft, we came to an agreement about cutting the length and unnecessary dialogue from the draft as well as removing another joke about a didgeridoo I’d written that was a bit out of a blue and crass. So the location was changed from an American college to an Australian one (within The University of Melbourne) with the aim to make the characters and jokes more relatable and appealing to a potential Australian audience. We made some references to footy, VB, magpies etc. Certain characters who didn’t contribute anything of actual importance were cut from the script too, with the decision to focus on Mark, Frank and Casie as the three mains. Aside from removing this dead weight, the most important point of feedback we received from the writer’s room session was the need to stretch out the female tropes in the male characters in the context of the role reversal in order to make their position clearer and make the jokes more acceptable to the audience as well as emphasising the main point of humor within the sketch (of course being the role reversal).
The particular subject matter relating to feminism or treatment of women as a broader sphere I chose to focus on was the kind of hook-up culture prominent within most colleges (within the western world at least.) ‘finding intimacy and actual affection in this modern world of hookups is near impossible and damaging when it often encourages people to treat a sexual encounter as just another exploit to brag about’ Cassidy O’Lear stated in her blog post giving an overview of a 2018 documentary about hook-up culture in the United States, titled ‘Liberated: The New Sexual Revolution’ (posted on Feb 23 2018 at 12PM) https://www.hercampus.com/school/u-conn/documentary-about-reality-college-hookup-culture. I wanted to reflect these sorts of exploits for bragging rights and the damaging effect it has on girls in particular, often putting them in a vulnerable position and encouraging a sort of mob mentality among young males. Of course within the sketch the genders are flipped and it’s this role reversal that is the main source of humor within the sketch combined with Casie’s exaggerated personality traits. As stated earlier too, I intended the role reversal to allow the audience to actually find the scenario humorous and acceptable while also acknowledging the more serious themes within the scenario. For the potential male audience also I further intend the role reversal to inspire the question “how would I feel if I was in her position?” As with any other sketch or awareness video produced, using the same context of a man walking in a women’s shoes forced to face gender specific adversity, it comes more naturally for guys to empathise when it’s a male on-screen being cat-called or worried about walking back to their car after a night out for example.
The last point of humor right at the end of the sketch will probably fly under the radar for most who may just recognise mainstream 2000s Subarus as being classic stoner cars. But the Forester and Outback in particular which is referenced (as Casie’s forgotten where she parked her Forester) had actually been the choice cars of lesbians for years particularly in the US, with a whole marketing campaign created to subtly tap into that specific market. While it’s not integral to the sketch, I thought it might be a cheeky reference that a select few in the know may appreciate, and it seemed to be the ideal car to reference in the script to fit Casie’s character. http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/01/02/lesbians_and_subarus_why_do_lesbians_love_outbacks_and_foresters.html
Please find sketch drafts attached here:
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1HNVVtu3omhAITZOpdcABFjB7jCe_QCAo – 1st draft
https://drive.google.com/open?id=1sfXyw6ZgxZeM9RC8BLYipaJgpirvj3IE – 2nd draft
Reference list:
- Vorhaus, J. (1994). The comic toolbox. Los Angeles: Silman-James Press, p.38.
- O’Lear, C. (2019). A Documentary About the Reality of College Hookup Culture. [online] Her Campus. Available at: https://www.hercampus.com/school/u-conn/documentary-about-reality-college-hookup-culture [Accessed 4 May 2019].
- Rode, I. (2019). Slate’s Use of Your Data. [online] Slate Magazine. Available at: http://www.slate.com/blogs/outward/2014/01/02/lesbians_and_subarus_why_do_lesbians_love_outbacks_and_foresters.html [Accessed 5 May 2019].