THE SNAKE PIT 5^TH EDITION 2016 (Friday, May 13, 2016)

FYI, NEXT TIME YOU’RE AT THE PARK REMEMBER PIGEONS BLOW UP IF YOU FEED THEM UNCOOKED RICE

Out in the big wide world there are some things that we naturally believe and accept, then there are things that are so outrageous we could never believe them. Then there is another category, the things that we shouldn’t believe but we believe it because large populaces do. This category has been coined as the modern myths, which refers to the characters, images, folklore and compelling stories that remain popular and used regularly in writing, entertainment, and have been popular enough to gain a mythological stature. There are some outrageous for example the myth that pigeons can explode if they are fed uncooked rice.

This paranoia has caused the recommendation of wedding guests to refrain from throwing uncooked rice because of the supposed “explosive consequences”; that would be great, during the best man speeches your drunk uncle gets excited and throws his sushi, where a large kit of pigeons ascend on the food and BANG, it triggers an explosive ensemble of pigeons exploding in perfect harmony, hope you like feathers on your wedding cake. But is this myth really legitimate? No, unfortunately not, lots of birds eat uncooked rice in the wild and there are some pigeons actually called rice birds. The myth was inspired by the belief that uncooked rice expands by absorbing hot water. However to many people’s disappointment the rice doesn’t hurt pigeons insides, and pigeons don’t even consume enough water to cause any significant stomach alterations. So next time if you want to see an exploding pigeon, maybe brings along some explosives.

Modern myths can appear in comic books, TV sitcoms or spin offs and other stores. Modern myths can also contain people who have lifted their status in recent memory to become folk heroes or ascending to legendary status. Marie Antoinette said perhaps one of these most well known quotes in history uttering during the French Revolution, translated from French, “If they have no bread, let them eat cake”. It is a cruel statement, and for it the queen became a hated symbol of the revolution. However according to Historians Antoinette did not usher such a cruel and degrading statement. According to Historians, a statement would’ve been very uncharacteristic of Antoinette, as she was an intelligent woman who donated generously to good causes despite her lavish lifestyle and despite her status she had sympathy towards the poor population of France. One source of the quote is from the 18^th century from author Jean-Jacques Rousseau, who wrote the princess suggested the poor have brioche if they didn’t have bread. Also the other likely source could be from Maria Theresa of Spain, who allegedly spelt out the statement. Keeping on the topic of the French, Napoleon Bonaparte was known for being two things, a feared leader and being a short leader. A man known for having short man syndrome and wearing oversized hats to make himself look bigger. However, Napoleon was never short except for maybe during childhood. Napoleon was measured at 5’2 French feet which sounds pretty short but in all reality that translates to 5’6, which is the average height for men in his country. But because the average height of Napoleon’s soldiers were over 6 feet tall, that is probably why he seemed small and powerless in comparison. Imagine what Napoleon would look like up against Yao Ming.

Some of the more notable myths that people actually believe starts with us, it starts within our heads, in our brain, and it relates to the percentage of our brain that we use. In the 1800s scientists argued that the overall function of the brain, the conclusion was derived that human only used 10% of their brain capacity. There’s a good explanation to your mates when you don’t catch onto a joke. But many experts believe this myth is like the film Lucy, very fictional.

There is another common modern myth is that if you shave your hair, it returns thicker and faster but according to studies and sorry lads, this myth has been busted. Shaving gives the hair a coarse tip and during this phase of growth, the hair might be more noticeable and perhaps appear darker and thicker but in reality it’s not. What shaving does is it removes a portion of dead hair, not the living section, which remains below the skin’s surface, therefore the act of shaving, is unlikely to affect the rate or type of growth. Also cutting hair doesn’t change the colour either, since the sun naturally lightens hair, new growth looks darker, but that is eventually evened out. I’m lucky to hear this revelation as I am a brunette with a orange beard, it not only gives hope to my breed but better start dying it then, to reach some normality.

Of course we can’t forget the significance of today! Today is Friday the 13^th, known by many as the unluckiest day of the year. And this superstitious myth has been embedded in many societies for a long time and whilst some barely notice the superstitious days other will lock themselves in the basement and cringe in fear and paranoia.

The incredible thing about the day is there is a phobia for Friday the 13^th and it’s known as friggatriskaidekaphobia, is not uncommon. The word comes from Frigga, the name of the Norse goddess, for whom Friday is named, and triskaidekaphobia, or fear of the number thirteen.

In Snake Pit fashion we must delve deeper into what made the myth, the superstitions and the paranoia that surrounds the day. There has also been a longstanding myth that if 13 people dine together, one will die within a year. The myth comes from both the Last Supper, when Jesus dined with the 12 Apostles prior to his death,

The number 13 continues to have an unlucky association today. Thirteen is so disliked that many cities do not have a 13^th Street or a 13^th Avenue, many high-rise buildings avoid having a 13^th floor, some hospitals avoid labeling rooms with the number 13 and many airports will not have a gate 13 and in cricket the Nelson’s number 13 is the amount of runs away from a 100 and this can usually be at the batsmen’s downfall. 

Friday has also long been considered an unlucky day.  One theory hypothesises that Friday has been considered unlucky because Jesus was crucified on a Friday according to Christian belief.

The popularity of the superstition supposedly came from the publication of Thomas W. Lawson’s popular novel, Friday, the Thirteenth. In the novel, a stockbroker takes advantage of the superstition to create a Wall Street panic on Friday the 13^th.

Whether there is any merit to the superstitions surrounding Friday the 13^th will remain uncertain, but that will not stop millions of people across the world from worrying about the unlucky day, and locking themselves up in their zombie apocalypse shelters.

There are a number of popular myths and superstitions surrounding the day and these myths as outrageous as they are, have occurred before so if you’re a little superstitious get out the pen and paper and not these down.

• If you break a mirror on Friday the 13^th, you will have seven years of bad luck.

• A child born on Friday the 13th will be unlucky for life.

• If you walk under a ladder or if a black cat crosses you on Friday the 13^th, you will have bad luck.

• If you cut your hair on Friday the 13th, someone in your family will die.

• And if you read the Snake pit on a Friday, you will be plagued with back luck

Now it is worth mentioning the song ‘Friday’ by the overwhelmingly popular artist Rebecca Black was absolutely appalling and it mirrors “getting down on Friday” which just spells bad luck, plus it makes your ears bleed. However, it is worth saying the 1990’s film ‘Friday’ seemed to work in the favours for Ice Cube and Chris Tucker’s acting careers and for different racial stereotypes. So there you go, there are some myths that can be positive and pigeons exploding with rice, many would argue that rare and native species of birds would now be privileged to have the crumbs that were wrongfully taken by the pigeons.

Now this is one of the more unbelievable myths, the myth that men yes men think about sex every seven seconds. Now this is outrageous! As a man I can safely say we do not think about sex every 7 seconds, myth busted, maybe every twenty seconds but seven come on, you really think during a family dinner we’re thinking about it? However this popular myth stems from men’s behaviour and the belief that they are more sexually motivated than those of women. I mean ADIDAS was a brand created by men and what do you think that really stands for… if you belief in this myth you should be able to work out this acronym.

In this myth as yet there is no real factual basis besides the fact that men are a lot more sexually aroused then women. But I needed to break this myth open in snake pit style, in a study on the subject conducted by Alfred Kinsey summarised that 97% of men thought about sex between a few times a day and a few times per month, with only 54% falling into the daily category. That’s not too bad, over half the men on this planet think of sex per day, that’s not so bad, but it does explain the growing population. But are men that more sexually driven than women, well according to a National Health and social study, 75% of men always reach orgasms during sex, only 29% of women report the same. On top of this the average age a male loses his virginity according to the Kinsey Institute (California State University) at age of 16.9 whereas females lose it at an age slightly older, at 17.4. But this is the most outrageous statistics; according to a survey of adults aged 20-59 (National Centre for Health Statistics) women have an average if four sex partners during their lifetimes whereas males have an average of seven. So there you have it, males don’t think of sex every seven seconds but males are definitely sexually aroused easier, myth busted.

Myths certainly leave the populous entertained about what is fact or fiction, but most of the time these myths are widely accepted like mice like cheese, alcohol keeps you warm, sharks don’t get cancer, the great wall of china is the only man-made structure visible from space, Captain Cook discovered Australia, bats are blind, gold fish have a three second memory, chewing gum will stay in your stomach for seven years and Thomas Eddison created the light bulb…but in reality with research these are all false myths, but if you do see exploding pigeons it’s probably best you seek some help.

Michael Serpell