THE ROGAN ROAST

Wahab everybody I’m Josh Rogan and every Tuesday I put all my fuming thoughts into one blog post as I roast the turkey with plenty of tikka today

Being on the Craigiburn line, and travelling to the city, just about every single day between 2-6pm we hit the mad rush. It’s insane and people are trampled, phones are cracked, kids cry, adults cry, and tourists randomly laugh at nothing; it’s like the full moon purposely comes out in the rush hour to affect people’s behaviour.

I’ve witnessed some things on public transport, I’ve been to Paris seeing homeless gentleman pee in bottles on the train and in fact pee just about anywhere on the metro line. I’ve been to London and seen the scariest and tallest and muscly characters at Elephant and Castle, I’ve been to Rome where centuries of innovation and architecture has been forgetting when using the metro system. Rome is had two ratings for the metro, meaning if you’re a bit loose on coin you can get downgraded to an even worse version of the already mediocre metro line. But the Hong Kong transportation system I really liked!

So where does Melbourne rate, ahhhh well…the Myki have been improved, kind of… I mean it only takes 24 hours for your card to be registered when creating a personalised myki online, and I mean the fare inspectors seem like really nice and thoughtful people especially towards teenagers. But the Myki cost a lot of money and the machines aren’t at every station. Did you also know that you can buy Myki cards from Seven Eleven, place famous for the underpayment and exploitation of it’s staff? Also to add to the Myki woes, if you put your card in your pocket it can wear and age quicker, taxpayer money pays for its mistakes and the worst part about it is that, the Myki was developed overseas, if the oyster card concept from London was used we’d have a more efficient system or even the octopus card from Hong Kong. But talking about the octopus card, which is the most successful and efficient transportation card and system in the world, was invented in Australia. Let’s continue, it was invented in Victoria, in Melbourne!!! Okay Rogan, you’re telling me that the best transportation cards were developed in Melbourne and the government didn’t think to ask for their help? Unbelievable!!!

I also know a very small lady, dwarf like, standing up trying to reach the roof bars so she wouldn’t fall over when the train stopped or took off but nooooo the roof is too high for small little Maria, shame on you Metro, pick on someone your own size!

To top that off, seats! Ahhh don’t they learn? The seats on the train are horrendous, near the end of the carriages there are two seats at the back with four, yes four facing it, seems a little odd, then to mix it up a little, two by two on the other side, whether this is trying to be inventive or just plain stupidity, I am yet to understand this, I shall write metro a written statement on this one!

But at the end of the day whether there are delays or whether there’s couples breaking up or being extremely passionate or whether there’s just that guy that slurs he’s words and does weird stuff on the seats, whether there is loud teenagers, loud music coming out of someone’s ear phones, loud phone calls, loud slurred announcements and plenty of convenient delays, it’s our public transport system, Victoria’s public transport system and we should be proud of it!!