Believe it or not I am a huge football (AFL) fanatic. Most people get the reaction of ‘Really?’ or ‘I never would’ve guessed’ when I tell them that I love footy, well I can’t blame them some skinny, short-ish, Asian guy telling people he loves the game of footy. Well once upon a time I didn’t even know what football was, I was more interested in playing the latest video game. However after being introduced to the sport by my uncle who took me to my first AFL game it was a Bulldogs vs St. Kilda game (being a Dog supporter) I started to view the sport a lot more. I didn’t really fall in love with the sport until a fateful preliminary final night in 2008 against the Western Bulldogs against Geelong. That night I will remember forever, the emotions of being one win, one week away from ‘the big dance’ and the Dogs missed easy opportunities at goal and Geelong capitalised these opportunities and seized the momentum the Dogs failed to obtain. In the end Geelong won the game by 20 or so points. The distress, pain and what ifs were written all over the faithful Dogs players but the players especially, knowing full well they had opportunities to win the game but failed to convert. The emotion that I felt on the ground, the pain of loss from the Dogs, the rejoice and ecstasy of knowing you are playing in the Grand Final the following week from Geelong and its supporters is what made me fall in love with the game. This feeling ultimately made me start playing football myself the following year.
Junior days U14s
Now I wanna talk about what it was like as a player. Beginning in 2009 I was more developed and one of the more bigger kids around, basically I was as tall as I am now, I believe I have not grown since then (maybe a couple centimetres?). I wasn’t really aware of what I was capable of that year and just started training a few weeks before the season started. My first few games were like the experimental stage, the ‘what can I do in this sport?’ kind of deal. I wasn’t really full on ‘trying’ I was kinda like ‘I wonder if I could run this guy down’. It wasn’t until I think by my 6th match we were matched against the top side of the competition who smashed every team by more than 100 points so far. It was a close game, 2 of the leagues heavyweights going at each other. I didn’t realise it at the time but I hadn’t found my inner drive for competing in this sport yet. It wasn’t until the final 10 minutes of the game or so with the game still in the balance where I was about the same distance as 3 other blokes to a free ball, I thought I would just be able to stride to get the ball. However it was right there and then, the ‘Ace’ of my team ran past me, Joey was his name, it was only for a moment in reality but for me looking back it felt much longer. The expression on his face of pure determination and drive to gather the ball that I saw will forever be the defining moment that I understood the real drive of a competitor of this sport. Looking back now, it was in this moment I feel my future of this sport would be defined… tragically. As I saw his determination to chase for the ball, I too chased with as much drive and effort I have saved in the game till this moment. I ran with all my heart had to offer because of my ‘Ace’ he didn’t want to lose and I didn’t either. And in these few moments, the tragic almost poetic theme started. The ball was knocked the other way from where I was chasing it from, I turned as fast as I could, I wasn’t thinking about my turn like I was before, I just used my instinct and determination. In that moment, I heard a snap in my right ankle. I had torn 2 ligaments in my right ankle.
I thought I’d be right, I was told by my doctor to rest for the next 8 weeks or so it took to heal. Having my drive to compete finally enlightened I was eager to get back on track and it was the longest 8 weeks I’ve ever had to wait. Over time my ankle felt better, I started walking again, started running again. I didn’t notice at the time but it wasn’t the same. My running, my kicks weren’t penetrating as hard, my jumps were lower than usual, but nothing a little training can’t fix and a couple years later I did feel quite good with my ankle. Anyway, I finished that season off not the way I wish I would’ve. We lost our first final, with me playing only half the game with the final 10 minutes on the bench, to the team I would eventually join: ‘Old Westbourne’ who I would find my own little success if you can call it that.
Better times: U16s
So the first year I was pretty adamant in pre-season training, I had found my competitive drive, but all the boys were bigger than me. Most of my school mates wanted me to play here as I did go to Westbourne Grammar, so I went to play with the football affiliate club Old Westbourne. I wasn’t naturally gifted, or maybe it was a result of me injuring my ankle, but I did find a competitive drive and the coach loved that. This was the only season that I was injury free. I was super enthusiastic in pre-season training there were talks of me getting captain, so being the cocky teenager I was I played up these talks. I look back and I laugh at how stupid I was, maybe I was aware I wasn’t going to be captain but who cares anyway. Anyway I play all the games this season with max game time of 3 quarters. I enjoyed the year overall as I made a few more friends even though we only won about 3 games.
The next year is where I finally found my footing. Having a terrific pre-season I was nominated by my peers to be one of four co-captains. Being fully confident in my body, being confident I can outrun anyone out there on the track despite the fact if they had 10 times better kick than I did. I was a key cog in the middle part of the year. I had played my best footy this year. I built this playstyle of working harder than anyone next to you based on my drive for the game, to win. We were one of the contenders for the flag that year. Though almost poetically, as I felt I was ready to take my game to the next level, during the mid season break I injure the same ankle I had broken years ago. I was setback again. This injury not as severe as the first time, but an injury nonetheless. I was able to recover in time for the last 3 games of the season before finals started. Again, almost as if nature was against me, I tried my best to be at the level I was at before but couldn’t. The recurring pains in my ankle made it impossible to compete at that level. My role degraded in the team, not in leadership, but on the ground. I didn’t feel a key as a cog as I thought I was. And so it ended with a grand final loss that year, having sitting the last 10 minutes of the final quarter on the bench. Again. All was not loss that year, I still won best Clubman award, which is awarded to the player who shows the best community traits. Still my favourite and best year of footy to date which I enjoyed thoroughly, just a little goes through my mind of what could’ve been if I stayed fit.
Regression: U18s and beyond
Now is where my regression starts, the year after. After having a not as productive pre-season as the last one but still a productive one I started to lose heart at the sport. My passion and love for the sport is the same, but my playing passion started to fade. I don’t know if it was that I was getting a bit older or it was because I was stuck at a ‘bottom age’ conundrum again. Anyway being in the U19s, there was some unspoken ritual of drinking after a game, which I wasn’t into and my team mates were good friends but I wouldn’t agree with these rituals they put up and this ‘party style’ that was around the team. I fell out of love for the team and re-injuring the previous year still had some lingering effects on me. I still couldn’t soar to the heights I was able to the previous year. About 3 or 4 games in I gave up the Old Westbourne U19 team and went back to where I started, Sunshine FC. They however did not have an U18 or U19 squad. And those kids that were a part of that were training with the seniors and only our ‘Ace’ from back then was getting game time in the reserves. So I decided to be a mentor to the U16 team, training with them and providing them tips being an older fellow and all. I reunited with old team-mates and made some new friends along the way. Anyway I relished this new leadership role, guiding this younger team who were struggling at the time. So where was I playing all this time, well funny story, I was still playing for Westbourne, but my school team Westbourne Grammar. So I was focusing on school footy seniors, which was a big deal. However I was only good enough to be in the B squad, however I was a leader in this team and I played in another losing grand final that year, however the team we lost to were definitely the better team. This year was nothing different to years previous. I didn’t have a major injury like previous years but more like I was getting little injuries here and there. I would roll my injured ankle that’ll aggravate it multiple times this year.
The next year I started as I started the last year, I had a fruitful pre-season but not as good as I know it could’ve been. I know I used to be a lot fitter and a lot more energetic but I cannot do that any more. Had I fallen out of love for playing because of my injury? or was it because I had other things on my mind? I’ll never know what the real reason was, probably a combination of both. Having scrapped enough numbers for a team at Sunshine U18s it was final year of junior footy before I would join the big boys so I said to myself I’ll give it my best shot. My hopes for a great year were shot down at round 2 where I jumped for a mark and as I landed I felt a sharp pain on my achilles. I had torn it, only slightly, but torn it still. I wasn’t able to walk for a few days after that incident but luckily enough it was holidays and by the time I came back to school I was able to walk again. Running was a different issue however. I had disappeared from my club at Sunshine and started focusing on my school footy, being in my last year of High School I wanted to do well at least this year in this team. I wasn’t able to run to the levels of even after I did my ankle a second time, my power had regressed even further and I was struggling to finish games. The coach knew this, a shoutout to my man Des Callan, and I knew this even though we never spoke about this. After being such a key cog in this team for 2 years I had regressed to not even able to finish games. He let me have my time in the sun though, although we didn’t make the grand final I was able to play to the final whistle in my last game at the end of the season. And since then, I haven’t put on the boots.
From the Sidelines: Football today
Now I still love footy, maybe not as much as I did a few years ago, but I still love it. I appreciate it even more now because I understand how hard you have to work to be at the top level. I will always envy the guys my age playing AFL but I will respect them and cherish them as I understand the hard work and dedication they had to give for the game. Now that I am no longer playing I can analyse the game much more easier because of my understanding of the game, my love for the game was never lost just my drive for competing was lost. And on the eve of the first siren of 2016, I am always excited to see what this season has in store for the fans. I hope the dogs will win the flag one day, but who knows the Pups look fruitful.
Finally I will say this, I will always keep an eye on this amazing sport, no matter my interests this will always be the first hobby I was fully invested in and I will always acknowledge that. Even though things didn’t fall my way it did for all those who are able to compete at any level. I hope you keep your drive to compete in this great sport and remember there are guys like me: the guys who weren’t good enough or the guys who were unfortunate to lose their competitive drive for the game.
Thanks for reading if you stuck with me this long.
