It was the last week on a lazy Sunday afternoon I was working in the back pub at work. The night has been overwhelmingly busy, large groups of men, typically the regulars who came in for beers and the parma special. During the night one man about 50 years old, who wore a dark beanie, jeans, a jacket and a dark t-shirt. He appeared very dark and in despair, in response to me asking of his day he mumbled in a underwhelming tone that he wasn’t well because he went to a funeral yesterday.
I immediately looked into his eyes which stared through me with such honesty I could sense his grief. The night continued and by 10pm he was very drunk. He sat staring at the beer glass in front of him despite the other men singing loudly around him, he seems unaware of his surroundings. I went to clear some dishes and returned to him being the only one in the room. I felt as though perhaps chatting to him would distract him from drinking even faster than he already was. I pulled up a chair, I thought for a brief moment how quickly we judge drunk people assuming they have reckless, inappropriate and often rude behaviour. However I’d observed that there is almost always a reason for their excess drinking. We sat in ear splitting silence for a few moments, I didn’t want to force the conversation.
Eventually he looked at me in the eye and said “I buried my best friend yesterday” more silence. A quietness that was quite indescribable, “he was the best man I ever knew”. The mans shoulders dropped, his head lowered but he maintained a firm eye contact and immediately tears welled up in his eyes. My heart broke and I had this realisation that he wasn’t just another man getting drunk for fun, he was drinking to fill the void in his heart by the passing of his best friend. I think he was trying to forget and lose himself but it wasn’t working. The atmosphere of the room was of such heartache but I felt that he held a certain trust in me. I specifically recall one moment in particular where he was staring eyes half masked at an empty schooner of Carlton, he looked up to wipe tears of his face and said in such an emotionless and monotone voice no one in the whole world will ever understand how he feel’s.