As I have said in my last post, I noticed the change in attitude of the crew. All of us are tired due to the early shooting plan, not to mention that both of our actors have caught a cold. I was in a state of compulsion—getting up at 8:30 everyday, going through the rushes every night, preparing for the next day’s shooting plan—simply too obsessed with the film production, ignoring the other human factors. I knew I could do it and I wouldn’t allow myself a little of rest when I aimed for a perfection as possible as I could. This, however, was where problem began.
I had a bit of row with Sylvia yesterday as we were trying to get the last few shots in the sushi shop. We didn’t fight much, but it was quite enough for me. Maybe I’ve been distance myself with the social interactions too much; maybe I needed to learn more about people, human nature. I just didn’t have any verbal or physical fight with anyone like that before. I need to toughen myself more. I wanted to weep, so I left them for peace. I should have not left them for the filming because I am the director, but I couldn’t resist. I figured one reason for this was me being too arrogant the day before. I thought a lot during the hours of peace and lone time. My motivation was breaking down like the buildings being taken away its beams.
I was too weak in mental fortitude. After this episode, I learnt several things. First, I was being too dominant in the ideas when Sylvia clearly had more experience in this, who could have guide us in choosing the shots. I need to be more open to accept the other’s ideas. Even though I asked them for ideas, I almost never did listen to them. I thought I was being thoughtful when I decided everything so that Sylvia and Rachel didn’t have to think about the film much to spare time for their other school work. However, I was wrong. I know now. Teamwork is about putting in good opinions together. The second one is that I was too ignorant of people’s feelings. I wanted to film almost everyday when I knew Sylvia and Lester were ill and Rachel was really tired due to the tracking shots. I noticed but I did not take further actions. It was not me being uncaring; I was simply too preoccupied with the project. This reminds me of my father who did almost the same when he started an enterprise himself the first time. I must consider the human factor and take it seriously. People all need rest and so do I.
Working collaboratively is never a easy job. I know that I am not too good at it but I am learning to do so. Sylvia and I resolved the argument with a hot bubble tea and a “sorry”. All three of us hugged each other this morning and I was so happy. Argument is nothing once we’ve solved the problem that causes it. “Tomorrow is always a fresh day with no mistake in it.”
I suppose that’s what we all need to go through in teamwork. The incident actually brings us closer now. Thank you guys, Sylvia and Rachel. You guys are so supportive and nice. 🙂
PS: The third thing I learnt was that sometimes what I want is quite difficult to achieve in the current circumstances. For the good of everyone, sometimes I need to put the perfectionist in me aside for a short while.
