This week I pseudo-directed a scene as part two of the class activity on Friday. It was not an experience I’d like to repeat again. The experience was quite negative for me. I found it extremely frustrating thinking on my feet – not having a planned lit of shots to best be able to direct the team involved. However, one of the best ways to learn and refine a skill is through practise is it not? Is that not what  doing? Is that not what these exercises aim to achieve? Reflecting on the experience got me thinking that the setting and circumstances for practise are extremely important and hugely influential on how you chose to develop your skills and refine your approach as you move forward.

For me the exercise was shambolic – perhaps an extreme way to describe it but if feels right nonetheless.
I’m not looking forward to editing it. As time pressed on, any idea of creative coverage began to be thrown out the window. We started in the right way – discussing approaches, the vibe, the feeling we wanted the scene to have. I suggested we amp it up – make it high-drama, Law and Order style, create a soap-opera type vibe between the two characters. Maybe my voice was just too loud, because some how I ended up oin the driver seat and I didn’t want to be there. We only had an hour to shoot it, and I wanted more shots. Most of all I wanted time to plan the shots, to really sit and THINK about how we could move through the space. It could be acted in a high drama, soap-esque style, but that didn’t mean it had to be filmed that way. Creativity was lost because we needed to get it done. We ended up with a shot-reverse-shot scene. The very worst of all the opportunities here. So best to stick to what works…’right? I felt really on edge and uncomfortable. Maybe, of id had planning time, time to build and think it would have been better (I’d like to think it would), but maybe it wouldn’t have. Basically what I’m saying is now my confidence is shot. I got the opportunity to practise, but the circumstances weren’t ideal for me to practise in the way I think is appropriate for my style and for me to develop. (The circumstances might never be IDEAL, but they could easily be better). I bit off more then I could chew and now I’m not sure where to go from here. I’m not sure how to practise.

 

I spoke to Angus after the tute and expressed my angst around the situation and he replied that some of the best times come from in the moment, under the pump type of stuff. Don’t get me wrong I like working under pressure but something was so wrong in that situation (multiple things were wrong). The large team seemed happy to stand around and watch the people who tried to lead and take charge fumble under the pressure of time. It was not a positive working environment. Maybe everyone was tired, maybe they were unhappy, but there’s something I try and remember when working on other people’s projects: whilst it’s not MY baby, it’s not something that I’ve spent weeks, moths, or years developing and perfecting, it IS someone else’s, and they want ME there, to make it a reality. They need me (and all the other let’s call them non-creative roles) in order to produce what they have slaved over. So I should try my very best to help them make it, and know that then maybe they will do the same for me.

I felt like that didn’t happen on Friday, and that’s a real shame.