I don’t think our mark was an accurate representation and reflection of our ideas in terms of creating the bedroom into something other than itself, however I do understand Adrian’s feedback points.
I don’t think the structure we decided upon worked in our favour very well as it wasn’t clear enough. In the essay description it said that the structure shouldn’t be an ordinary essay structure, hence why we took a completely different approach, but it mustn’t have been clear enough. Maybe our essay needed a sentence of pre-introduction explaining the structure of it before reading.
Think of something like an essay as providing a template. The first part of this is an introduction. Now in a ‘normal’ essay this just tells the reader what is going to happen, but it does not feel obliged to say how. We assume it is just going to be an essay.
now, you can’t avoid an introduction, the thing has to begin after all. But if you want to depart from the norm in how you are going to do it then you need to do this quickly, and plainly. So yes, a sentence proposing how it is being done. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L8uH26GlWeo completely changes the opening sequence to tell us that what comes next will be different.)