I have tried to express myself in a more deeper fashion compared to my final product of project brief one. Overall, my aim was to convey a sense of nostalgia. This sentimentality was aided through editing ( through iMovie), specifically via transitions between shots – generally using a cross dissolve or a cross blur in order to create the feeling that memories become a blur when looking at them in retrospective, also that life becomes a blur when you are moving too rapidly. For other shots, straight cuts were used to reinforce the sometimes impending “black and white” feeling of growing up – the thin line between right and wrong, or expectations of others, something I believe profusely reflects myself and my own inner workings. The colour palate and filters I have used I believe create a sense of wistfulness, creating a romanticised outlook of myself, as majority of the shots could be interpreted as point of view shots.

I believe that the most successful part of my self-portrait is the way in which the narration throughout the middle section of the clip intertwines with the images and footage in order to create an insight into what I reflect on, and think of myself. I do not know how easy it will be to interpret the footage I have linked together, along with the audio. As it is my own self – portrait, I see relevance and meaning in everything, however others may find it irrelevant or strange to decipher. This is what I deem simultaneously a successful and unsuccessful feat, as there are moments of explicit reflection, accompanied by abstract and vague portrayals of myself. Although saying this, I believe it creates an effective juxtaposition in the construction of my own self – portrait in the eyes of others. One thing I think may have been unsuccessful is the narrative framework as such. It is an somewhat abstract piece, however I think after reflecting on it, I would have liked it to have had a slightly more structured outline, where the footage may have linked together in a more successful and smoother fashion.

Usually when things don’t go your way, anger courses through your body, accompanied by sprinkles of disappointment. You get upset, you don’t like people telling you you’ve done wrong or that you’ve simply failed what you originally set out to do. I’m talking from experience. I personally think that when you’ve tried so hard in something, or investing a vast amount of time in completing something, it’s difficult to be told anything you don’t want to hear. It’s hard to break this routine of denial and disappointment, but in the big, bad world of media, it’s necessary. You just have to take criticism positively. Nobody likes hearing it, but there’s always going to be an endless storm of criticism to rain on your parade. Use it. Use it well.

Although these media texts won’t give an insight into every single thought in my brain, they express small fragments of my personality and of how I see myself. 

 The GHS image, represents my initials. Georgina Hannah Stewart. Although seemingly obvious and cliche “my name is who I am”, for me, it is. I for one have never really been in love with my name. Sometimes I feel like it wasn’t meant for me as I was supposed to be called Hannah, however my parents already knew two children had been named that in the year before I was born. Maybe the odds were against me from the beginning.

The image of the city, the train station accompanied by its audio link together. I seem to always find myself waiting for something, and then when it comes around, it happens in a whirlwind and I move on, to wait for the next thing. They reflect the fact that majority of the time I find it hard to appreciate thing the bigger things.

The shot of my bedroom in short outlines my utter laziness on many occasions, my room, as for many, is generally my safe haven, and has seen every emotion i’ve ever had to offer.

The keyboard audio, a rendition of “Greased Lightning” played by my younger sister portrays my passion for all things musical and acting.

The video of the record player shows outlines my love for music, and perhaps my interest in “aesthetic”, something that I thought would prove to be a phase and many of my interests have, but is proving me wrong thus far.
(https://vimeo.com/122586055)

The video of one of my dogs Charley simply supports the fact that I spend so much time with him. He’s such a gentle and calm animal that is never shy of a cuddle when you need one.
(https://vimeo.com/122586053) 

The text, text messages between myself and my younger sister are in short, a summary of many of our conversations. Being such a huge part of my life, they reflect us perfectly, just as they would any other sisters.

ME: Can you turn the internet on pls?

SISTER: No you

ME: But i’m upstairs

SISTER: I don’t care
——
ME: We’re coming home now

SISTER: Why?
Do you have food?
Pls bring food!

Sitting watching mediocre nighttime TV has become a large part of my life. It all started last year after I would come home everyday from an excruciating day of year 12 pain, I would take a nap and then sit and watch the first piece of nonsense I could find. Last years season of The Block Glasshouse was a rough time for me, I became obsessed, which was probably terrible for my school work, but was great to forget about the ongoing stress, replacing it with the drastic turmoils of bathroom week. I became emotionally invested, like a 13 year old Justin Bieber fan, even shedding a tear on auction night when two of the couples only profited $10,000 after so much gruelling blood, sweat and tears.

This year I promised myself it would be different – simply because of the fact that Simon and Shannon, surf brothers and my favourite “couple” were nowhere to be seen. I was wrong about this show. I told myself I wasn’t interested, but then I saw the advertisements. Dea and Daz were back – bringing with them stiff competition and immense amounts of drama. So here I am, tuning in every night, and it isn’t because it’s an amazing show filled with a complicated plot, as that is what it’s not. It’s not good at all, but it’s the adverts that draw me in every single time.

In relation to the last lectorial about noticing, one thing i’ve noticed about the block is that all of the problems they encounter, they create themselves. It’s ridiculous. You have ceiling height issues because you chose to change the architectural plan. It. Is. Your. Fault. People on television may be getting air time and an occasional trend on twitter, but nobody ever said they were smart, no matter how well they can decorate a bedroom.