Looking over the news channels, newspapers, Facebook feeds, twitter things, English classes and online web polls, it seems to me that a major debate is raging and could decide our future and the future of the Earth, Karl Stefenovic. And renewable energy/global warming. After what transpired in Japan, Chernobyl, and the island of Tobukoo, the debate on nuclear power rages on with pro nuclear people (or nukems as i like to call them) having to lift their game. There is also the debate as to whether to stay with coal or go environmentally friendly, renewable energy. Some want to go solar, wind and hydrogen (aka eco-friends) and those who don’t believe in global warming and want to stick with coal (aka Tony and Andrew, collectively known as Abbolt (or in some cases, twats)). What to do, what to do?
After a lengthy discussion with my fellow Political And Current Environment Panel of Awesomeness, we have developed the next big advancement in the search for cleaner energy and comical trolling. Hamster Power. Hamster power is the production of electricity through hamsters. This can be done in many ways. The two main ways we have decided upon are the following: 1) Placing a series of hamsters in those small exercise wheels, sticking cheese or a female hamster in front of them and letting their running turbines, although this method may lead to animal cruelty (tiny whips, undernourished, no biscuits in the tea room) or be outsourced to Vietnamese children (like most things these days, well, everything except lemons, tripods and small stuffed pandas, which are done by Colombian children), or 2) Burn the hamsters, which may lead to a shortage of hamsters or the possibility of a hamster uprising, because nothing sparks vengeance in hamster better then watching 50,000 of their friends and family burn in a fire to power Lady Gaga’s hairdryer.
Many other animals were considered and later struck from the record (or burned to power the lights in my toy screwdriver) such as the rabbit (possibility of a bunny meltdown, causing a tsunami of rabbits and subsequent drowning), the gopher (to stupid not to kick), the gerbil ( to damn scary), the panther (not scary enough), and the rat (really, you thought you could get by using a rat! How dare you mock me with such stupid ideas! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM! I’M THE MAN THAT WILL BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN, WITH RATS, AND FLAMING HAMSTERS, AND BLACKJACK!). This went on for quite some time.
And so we settled on hamsters, but it is up to you on what we should use them for. Do we
A) Race them or
B) Burn them
We can do either, as long as their isn’t a tax. Because then we would have to have a nation wide vote and everything gets rather messy. Hamsters are the way to go, and if we happen to run out well, we could always invade Norway. I mean, who wouldn’t want to invade Norway, there just so invadeable. Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Or in your own blog. Or on a toilet wall. Up to you
Evan signing out, i like whales.