I’ve never been very good at focusing on myself.
Having spent a large portion of last year trying to do just this, attempting to project what’s internalised, to apply it into my personal work ie; photography, I found this exercise a challenge.

Having made a few short clips last year out of curiosity but never any that focused on me, creating a piece of work that was cohesive, creative and playful was a struggle, largely due to the fact that I am currently on a break from photography.
For me, photography is visceral.
As I write this self-reflective rhetoric, I feel myself cringe but I’ve decided to be honest and just say it like I mean it and like this video, leave it to you to examine.

So, as Derek Zoolander once queried, ‘who am I?’

I like to blend into backgrounds, I am the fly on the wall, I pick up on your gestures and verbal inflexions, I have always observed.
Abandoned buildings and old houses are my happy place; respite from the bustling and chaotically organised world outside.
They are consistently surprising, musty, old and mouldy.
I take my time and find light in the shadows, I have learnt to live in the questions and enjoy the journey rather than the destination.

The footage I have taken is an abstraction of the current me.
Not wanting to dwell on material and mundane day to day; eating, walking etc.. I felt that the places I visited and the experiences I had in the last couple weeks, shaped who I was.
That is to say that the video is a rendition of who I am at this current point in time, not as a whole.

My images are self-explanatory at first and I suspect would carry more weight upon getting to know me more.

I like to walk around the city and find abandoned buildings and I carry my Pentax film camera with me everywhere.
I wanted to show how photography has influenced my life in a more realistic sense through capturing a window on my phone, through the view finder – wanting to represent a more naturalistic approach to capturing a scene.
Not wanting to compare myself to Annie Liebovitz by any means but it is a fraction of my life through a lens.

I assisted on a shoot last week with a friend of mine at Trentham Falls.
The sunlight hit the sprays of water and created a rainbow that caught my eye.
On the drive back we stopped in Dayelsford and a flare of sunlight bathed a green shed on the side of the road in an amber light. The colours were irresistible.

The shadows on my cupboards every morning call to me. I hazily pass my hands through them, hoping to reach out and feel them brush against my skin.

Each day I walk into the city and walk through the laneways of Melbourne, passing through the crowds and hearing the music play from a different busker every day.
By days end, I’m exhausted.
I kick my feet up and my day flickers past me as a colourful bokeh – an image I captured last week in the rain.

As I complete this reflection, I’m realising that this video, while it may not be the most fluid I have ever created, is an honest representation of my current self.
I’m noticing more of the things around me, enjoying my journeys and drawing focus to my environment much more.

Video  link