In a class exercise, we were to choose one of our peer’s characters and write about them. I chose Justin Luh’s character Grease who is a robot. It is about Grease’s most embarrassing moment. It is written as if an interview and it goes as follows…
Grease:
So anyway, I was at the Boron baths. Boron nitriding it up. Replenishing, getting the rust and detritus out of my components. It’s something that you have to do… if not for yourself, for those who you work and live with. Like seriously, you are more relaxed, you’re less likely to fly off the handles at minor issues on the floor at work. Boron baths… they’re good. Do yourself a favour. Really!
Anyway, there was only a few of us in the bath… 4 to 5000, and I thought that I might nip out for an extra treatment… Liquid nitrogen scrub. But seeing that it was only me there, I thought I could shed some layers… you know, like down to my chassis. You really get to feel it that way. And anyway, I’m lying there and I notice a message on the portal from administration, so I link in to see what the message was about. BEEP. It said I’m not in today. I’m out getting a scrub too. BEEP. But remember that this room will undergo a deep clean at 12noon today BEEP. I look up at the clock… it says 11:58. Farrrrk!!!
And thats when it began. I was scooped up, dipped in what felt like mercury or something, I was shoved around the room and pushed toward the exhaust vent… Exhaust vent!! But I had another 30 minutes left on my credit! Nevertheless, the evacuations process had gone passed the rubicon and I was getting excreted early AND with no covers on… stark naked!
Before I knew it… CLUNK, I’m sitting in the fallout basin, not a shred on me, covered head to base in mercury, I started to discreetly tiptoe to the exit when all of those units… remember the ones that I had shared a boron nitride spa with, they all cascade through to the bin that I was at and are presented with my pathetic silver arse. They laughed naturally which as you know sounds like a machine gun.
Still to this day, that was the most embarrassing moment of my robot life.