The impending end of my tertiary education looms ever so closely. Tomorrow morning, at 8 AM, I must to race to book down the class times I want against my university classmates, and this has only made me realise even more how close I am to the finish line. Years of my life spent studying have made me reliant on this autonomy, and even though yes, I excelled most of the time at school, it was something that also inhibited me as a big fish in a small pond. It seems like only yesterday that I worried over meeting people and making new matches in university. Three years have just flown past and I must once again make decisions for myself that will ultimately, affect the rest of my life.
At this “end”, also makes me reminisce of my “beginning”, or I guess you could say the journey itself. The last “end” that I faced, after graduating in VCE, I was in the same situation picking out which passion of mine I wanted to call my career (just as I am, now). For growing up, I had been one of those creative types who sought to redeem my physical incoordination and failure to meet social expectations through expression of art, whether visual or performance. I invested myself in music and drama, visual communication and design, film-making, and even dabbled in history which fuelled the source of inspiration for my writing. I thought a Bachelor of Communications (Media) at RMIT was more than suitable for me, in fact, it was dare I say, perfect for me? It was creatively expressive enough for me that I could continue to write and make short films and other experimental media material that built up my portfolio, with the reputation as a course that would potentially lead to many possibilities. Yet here I am, once again shattering my freshman illusions that at my graduating year I would already be working part time, as an unemployed almost-21 year old student with a half-creative half-technical degree.
What’s even more depressing is that with my return from Montréal, I am left without my past job in retail, an empty bank account and a reliance on my parents. And I hate having to rely on my parents. But I recognise that I am not the only one in this position. Other people probably have it harder than me, when I should be appreciating what it is that I possess and have already accomplished. Like the apparent 90-100 other Media students graduating at the end of 2015, I’m just going to have to compete for that dream career, whatever and wherever it is. Here’s hoping that what I’ve done will be enough to push me through, because I will not settle for less.
