Upload a piece of writing you completed during a studio task/activity/workshop. Include a short paragraph reflecting upon a) what you think works with the piece and b) how you think the piece could be improved. You will receive feedback on both the reflection and the creative work. (It is possible to use an audiovisual element for this task – discuss with studio leader in terms of word count equivalency).

 

This post is a documentation of my first attempt at writing a short synopsis and section of screenplay based on the week 3 photo-story exercise.

A young couple walk out of RMIT and through the streets of Melbourne, quite happy with each other’s company. Despite the nearby sign warning of vehicles, the two are simply having too much fun together to care. They approach a busy road, and horror ensues as a car speeds toward the couple. The man cries out, but it is in vain. In awe, he inspects the remains of his now-deceased partner, later mourning her tragic and untimely loss outside the City Morgue.

This is a brief synopsis of the photo story “Look Both Ways” that had been created by members of the class during week 2.

photostory

I tried to set out to create something akin to the synopses found on Wikipedia pages for short stories, and found that it was probably quite a bit shorter than Stayci had intended our synopses to be. This was because I didn’t want to devolve into merely describing what was happening in each shot or writing it as an elaborate short story, and I think that the photo story told was fairly brief if one were to summarize it.

For my own creative purposes, my original synopsis did include this “follow on” – something to hook in a reader to wonder what may happen to the protagonist after the events of the accident, and something that could spur a continuation to the story — perhaps drawing it out to something feature-length.

It turns out that the driver of the car is a femme fatale, poised to take out half of every relationship to save women from heartache – however, she has made a mistake in who she killed this time, leaving the gentleman on the run from a very dangerous woman intent on rectifying her mistakes.

This follow-on was built after a brief discussion to a nearby student, whom I bounced ideas off of. With the synopsis set, I then began to draft what might be part of a screenplay – going first for the action/’meaty bits’ to really have those set, so that if I were to return later I would already have the major details in place, and everything else to write could be the strings to connect those key events. In retrospect, I think the synopsis I wrote definitely has potential to turn into an interesting comedy screenplay – but during the class exercise I ended up going with something a bit more serious and dramatic. Below is a screenshot showing an excerpt from this piece.

screenplay excerpt

 

In my opinion, I definitely need to become stronger at writing dialogue – so this is something I will need to focus on should I make a major screenplay part of my final assignment. That being said, I don’t wish to be overly critical of my first proper attempt at screenwriting. I think the formatting and conventions of this process were relatively easy to learn, especially given the real-world example we saw with “Frozen River” in class, and the realization of that screenplay in film that really put into perspective how screenplays translate to the film set.

Part of me questions whether the directions I have given in the “big text” of the screenplay are perhaps too extensive for the actors – and whether a real director would request more freedom in script to shoot the film with their perspective of how the emotions should be and what dialogue should be used. But I think from our early readings on collaboration between writers and producers that it is a matter of communication between the two in stages of writing and re-writing. Yes the director should have some input in how the actors should behave on-camera, but is it ultimately the writers who tell these stories? Possibly? I am sure this is an issue often faced by directors shooting works that are adaptations of written pieces – so much of the dialogue and emotion of a piece is already guided by the source material and the directors decision of how closely the adaptation will follow the source material.

It is difficult to say with certainty whether the director or writer is the one telling the story, so perhaps it is a balance, or perhaps it varies from work to work. Maybe this could partially explain why so often a director will also have some sort of credit for writing. Or perhaps writers are so protective of their works that they are adamant that they must direct it?

I think these are definitely all things to consider if I continue on down the screenwriting path at the conclusion of this studio…

 

EDIT (23/3)

In class this week I actually posed this question – who gets the final say in things such as line delivery. While Stayci admitted it was “a bit of both” situation between director and screenwriter, she also mentioned a third party I hadn’t considered — the ACTOR!

This just increases the potential conflicting views – the actors won’t want to be told how to act down to the letter — after all, it is part of their job to know their characters emotions and what makes their characters “tick”. This is something else I will also need to consider in my final project.

Furthermore, our discussion on proper formatting conventions has also highlighted a few issues with the formatting of the screenplay. Nonetheless, these will be amended and formatted to the correct conventions in future attempts at screenwriting.

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