You watch the fish wander aimlessly through the tank.
I’ve forgotten something.
I know it was there, I was just thinking about it. What was it?
Was it something important?
I think it was important. I can’t remember.
It must have been important if I’m giving it this much thought.
Come on, what was it?
Trace your thoughts back.
I can’t remember those either.
God this is killing me.
Should I just let it go?
No way, I know this is important.
Wait, is it?
If I have forgotten it, surely it’s not.
No, I know it is. I can just tell.
F*ck, come on! What is it?
Wait, yeah! It’s something like… no, wait, never mind.
I think it was something I needed to do… yeah, I need do something.
Come on, god damn it! You’re so close! Why can’t you think of it?
Stupid stupid stupid, f*cking stupid!
Stop biting your nails and think, idiot. What were you just doing now?
It was… you were…
Shit. Alright.
Just look around. Observe your surroundings. Maybe it was something in here?
No, not here.
It’s right there, on the tip of my god damned idiotic tongue.
F*ck, f*ck, f*ck f*ck f*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckf*CK!
Calm down. Breathe. Think.
Thinking did nothing before, you stupid asshole. Things aren’t going to magically make sense of themselves.
Alright, just stop. It was something you had to do. What were you meant to do today?
…
Oh, come on. What can you remember?
Oh for god’s – this is pointless! Just give it up.
But it’s right there! It’s right… I can feel it!
Come on, come the f*ck on!
What is it? What is it? What the f*ck is it?!
Ah- shit! Stop pulling your hair, it’s not helping!
I just wanna f*cking… hit something!
Christ! How is it that time already?! What have I been doing all day?
Useless. Totally, utterly, irredeemably f*cking useless.
Can’t even remember a single, god damn f*cking thing. Christ.
This is what you’ve amounted to, some brainless, aimless mass of skin and bone that can’t even wrap it’s head around a single thought.
So useless… so f*cking USELESS!
Your volatile anger bubbles to the surface. With all your might, you hurl your arm forward. Your fingers uncurl. A plastic bottle smashes against the wall on the far side of the room.
Such an alchemical video! Great response to the title. I love the first and last lines of the poem, and in relation to the boiling water- yikes! The middle section of the poem is interesting in terms of its reading of the look in those eyes! I’m curious about the choice in phrasing and timing for both works… Great work.
These two responses evoke such different responses in me..
Jack your video really brings out this emotive anxious response while Alex, I had an almost comical response to the prose – not sure if this was intended??- but I found it so interesting to then link them together as I found it really changed the tone for your prose, Alex.
It suddenly became about more than just stupidly forgetting something.. it really played much more into the themes mental health.
I really enjoyed how these two related to one another.
Great work!
Prose response – Alex Costantino
You watch the fish wander aimlessly through the tank.
I’ve forgotten something.
I know it was there, I was just thinking about it. What was it?
Was it something important?
I think it was important. I can’t remember.
It must have been important if I’m giving it this much thought.
Come on, what was it?
Trace your thoughts back.
I can’t remember those either.
God this is killing me.
Should I just let it go?
No way, I know this is important.
Wait, is it?
If I have forgotten it, surely it’s not.
No, I know it is. I can just tell.
F*ck, come on! What is it?
Wait, yeah! It’s something like… no, wait, never mind.
I think it was something I needed to do… yeah, I need do something.
Come on, god damn it! You’re so close! Why can’t you think of it?
Stupid stupid stupid, f*cking stupid!
Stop biting your nails and think, idiot. What were you just doing now?
It was… you were…
Shit. Alright.
Just look around. Observe your surroundings. Maybe it was something in here?
No, not here.
It’s right there, on the tip of my god damned idiotic tongue.
F*ck, f*ck, f*ck f*ck f*ckf*ckf*ckf*ckf*CK!
Calm down. Breathe. Think.
Thinking did nothing before, you stupid asshole. Things aren’t going to magically make sense of themselves.
Alright, just stop. It was something you had to do. What were you meant to do today?
…
Oh, come on. What can you remember?
Oh for god’s – this is pointless! Just give it up.
But it’s right there! It’s right… I can feel it!
Come on, come the f*ck on!
What is it? What is it? What the f*ck is it?!
Ah- shit! Stop pulling your hair, it’s not helping!
I just wanna f*cking… hit something!
Christ! How is it that time already?! What have I been doing all day?
Useless. Totally, utterly, irredeemably f*cking useless.
Can’t even remember a single, god damn f*cking thing. Christ.
This is what you’ve amounted to, some brainless, aimless mass of skin and bone that can’t even wrap it’s head around a single thought.
So useless… so f*cking USELESS!
Your volatile anger bubbles to the surface. With all your might, you hurl your arm forward. Your fingers uncurl. A plastic bottle smashes against the wall on the far side of the room.
Oh, you stupid…
The fish food spills across your bedroom floor.
Such an alchemical video! Great response to the title. I love the first and last lines of the poem, and in relation to the boiling water- yikes! The middle section of the poem is interesting in terms of its reading of the look in those eyes! I’m curious about the choice in phrasing and timing for both works… Great work.
These two responses evoke such different responses in me..
Jack your video really brings out this emotive anxious response while Alex, I had an almost comical response to the prose – not sure if this was intended??- but I found it so interesting to then link them together as I found it really changed the tone for your prose, Alex.
It suddenly became about more than just stupidly forgetting something.. it really played much more into the themes mental health.
I really enjoyed how these two related to one another.
Great work!